I...umm... what?

I get bored so I add someone online:

bloggergirl says:
good morning
JessicaK***** says:
good morning
bloggergirl says:
how are you?
*JessicaK**** has removed you from their contacts.*

censored name as I suspect it may not be a psuedonym.

...twice in the same place?

bodyofronaldo... I mean, LIGHTNINGSTRIKES would like to be added to your contacts.
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.

N.B practically the same profile pic on this account. But a few more drugs I think.
see earlier interaction here

bloggergirl says:
Hi
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
hi hru?
bloggergirl says:
how's ronaldo going?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
good how u know
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
u clever
bloggergirl says:
......umm cos unlike you I take notice to details... like for example your picture is exactly the same?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is your name
bloggergirl says:
why should I tell you anything? You were trying to trick me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may i see ur priv pic?
bloggergirl says:
nope
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am female
bloggergirl says:
HAHAHA righto
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i have had my cok cut off
bloggergirl says:
um I hate to break it to you, but an absence of a penis does not a woman make
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
there is a virgin hole there now
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety it is made a lady
bloggergirl says:
that sounds... disgusting
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am femineas they are
bloggergirl says:
Ronaldo has a woman's body now?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety may i please see ur priv pic my pussy is wet
bloggergirl says:
you're a really bad actor
bloggergirl says:
and you'd make a really ugly woman
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
it is no act i am real lady
bloggergirl says:
lol sure
bloggergirl says:
that's why you're talking like every other guy on here
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we talk on ph to prove it
bloggergirl says:
hahaha ok then, give me your number, I dare you.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
0434082***
bloggergirl says:
I'm going to call and I want you to say 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ring me
bloggergirl says:
will you say that?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
*thumbs up icon*
(blocking my number, I call. An audibly smiling male replies 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'. I laugh and hang up)
bloggergirl says:
rofl
bloggergirl says:
your penis may have been cut off, but your testicles must still be attached, deep voice you got there lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
see i am wet
bloggergirl says:
man, what are you smokin?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on can i please take u out for drink?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we go to mars bar
bloggergirl says:
I don't drink and if I did it wouldn't be with you, esp not a nutter sayin the weird as shtick you're saying lol
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may u show me ur priv now that i gave u my number
?
bloggergirl says:
nope, I don't remember agreeing to that
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
well can i meet u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cutie?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i so wish u iand i can date
bloggergirl says:
lol nah, meet a guy who talks about cutting dicks off? I think that's how serial killers start out isn't it?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no sweety or am a rapist
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
dare u give me your number
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
just one date
bloggergirl says:
nah, I'm not as foolish to give my number out to anyone who asks. You're lucky I'm not the crazy one.
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians don't date old male nutters.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
will u for baby i am nice person
bloggergirl says:
nah, sorry not interested.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good licker
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
best u get
bloggergirl says:
Oh right, cos thats the only reasons lesbians exist. How silly of me, well in that case!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
then any other lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good kisser
bloggergirl says:
oh how attractive humility is
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on georgeous
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please baby
bloggergirl says:
nope
bloggergirl says:
begging's a little pathetic you know?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes well i just love get u date me
bloggergirl says:
you should really get the idea into your head that I'm not going to
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
oooohhhhhhhh
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i missing out
bloggergirl says:
yup, guess so
bloggergirl says:
bye then
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please i am hot for u
bloggergirl says:
so? that just makes you more pathetic that you think that will make me change my mind
bloggergirl says:
oh yeah, I'll just reverse everything about me just cos you're feeling horny, and weird.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am
bloggergirl says:
no shit
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ph me
bloggergirl says:
nah
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me date u
bloggergirl says:
lesbians don't date guys
bloggergirl says:
I think you would have learnt that at some point in life
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am nice bloke
bloggergirl says:
so? So's *celebrity name*, that doesn't mean I'd date him.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am 34
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i just want see u so badly
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
can i get ur number pretty pretty please
bloggergirl says:
nope, sorry.
bloggergirl says:
Look I've been quite polite about it
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is ur name
bloggergirl says:
Miss-Not-Interested
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ooohhh
bloggergirl says:
does this high pressure begging get you much action? Oh wait, I guess you wouldn't be here if it did.
bloggergirl says:
pleading with lesbians doesn't exactly get you knee-deep in chicks
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
mo no action i loking only for u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ok there
bloggergirl says:
can you leave me alone now, please?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me see u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i want see u
bloggergirl says:
I've been more than polite
bloggergirl says:
I don't care
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
pppllleeeassseeee
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
fuk
bloggergirl says:
begging is just pathetic, please get it in your head that I won't see you or date you or sleep with you
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no i want u
bloggergirl says:
dude, I don't care
bloggergirl says:
I get that you're lonely, I get that it's probably been a while since you got laid, but mate, I like girls... this is a hopeless endeavour
bloggergirl says:
go find some single straight chicks
bloggergirl says:
there's heaps on here!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please just date me once then
bloggergirl says:
I
bloggergirl says:
like
bloggergirl says:
girls
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians
bloggergirl says:
don't
bloggergirl says:
date
bloggergirl says:
guys
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
am
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
girl
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
have
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no
bloggergirl says:
yeah, right.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cok
bloggergirl says:
so?
bloggergirl says:
That's not the definition of gender yknow
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women have holes i have one also
bloggergirl says:
is that what makes a woman?
bloggergirl says:
that the only difference?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes pretty much
bloggergirl says:
so..... how does conception and childbirth work for you then?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am prgenat
bloggergirl says:
dude you are on some seriously wicked drugs
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
a slime made me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes i am because i am giving birth
bloggergirl says:
right now? OMG get off the computer and call an ambulance!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me hold u in birth
bloggergirl says:
remember to breathe!
bloggergirl says:
and don't use painkillers, they make the baby stupid.
bloggergirl says:
I hope you hallucinate the right end to smack when it comes out.
*pause*
bloggergirl says:
so yeah, I'm getting tired of your insipidity now. catcha.
bloggergirl says:
stay off the drugs, man.

*LIGHTNINGSTRIKES has been removed from your contacts*

***143

A new record??

New Guest post from Betty


betty says:
hey cheers for the add
jess70-70 says:
hey
... jess70-70 says:
r u single ?
betty says:
yes, have you read my profile?
jess70-70 says:
im horney babe
betty says:
that was quick
jess70-70 says:
r u horney ?
betty says:
last time I checked I didnt have any horns growing
jess70-70 says:
yes / no
betty says:
no
jess70-70 says:
ok
betty says:
sorry to dissapoint
jess70-70 says:
ok

*jess70-70 has removed you from their contacts.*

Dear Santa, put away the Nice list this year...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

house wins!

cos finding love is a gamble...
want to see him again? read our next adventure here.


bodyofronaldo would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: We have common interests.

bodyofronaldo says:
hi hru?
bloggergirl says:
who's ronaldo?
bodyofronaldo says:
the superstar
bodyofronaldo says:
like me
bloggergirl says:
oh
bloggergirl says:
what common interests do we have?
bodyofronaldo says:
u know now?
bloggergirl says:
I see none the same.
bloggergirl says:
From that vague description? No, not really.
bodyofronaldo says:
thearetre
bodyofronaldo says:
gaming i love poker
bloggergirl says:
I don't recall liking 'thearetre' or poker
bodyofronaldo says:
the machines i love them
bodyofronaldo says:
painting then i love sparying out of a can
bloggergirl says:
let me guess, you love going to the casino?
bodyofronaldo says:
yes i do i admit
bloggergirl says:
do you like *card game*?
bodyofronaldo says:
love it
bloggergirl says:
thought you would
bodyofronaldo says:
i am guenius at guessing naext card
bodyofronaldo says:
what is your name i amBill
bloggergirl says:
I like it too, but I hate the dealers
bloggergirl says:
how about you?
bodyofronaldo says:
well u know what baby they go a mchine now
bloggergirl says:
yeah but they're rigged
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah i hate them also u have to completely bloke them out of your game
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah they are
bodyofronaldo says:
i like u
bloggergirl says:
you never win in that place, dealers are so stupid
bodyofronaldo says:
what is your name
bodyofronaldo says:
i so wish i meet u
bloggergirl says:
I don't even think dealers are real people, what do you reckon?
bodyofronaldo says:
it not that u have to be cautious
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah it is badly rigged the whole place



*bodyofronaldo has been removed from your contacts*

Yeah... so turns out I'm an ex card-dealer at the casino. I hope he was just being agreeable, but deep down I'm sure he's probably had a tantrum at my table some time during my employment there.
Oh and for the record, I know who Ronaldo is- but from this 40 year old guy's pictures, the body may have been all he had of his. Ronaldo is a lot more beautiful, and I don't even follow the sport!

The Might Adventures Of...!

gruffnut would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.


N.B I accept, but his icon shows him as offline. Immediately however, a conversation box opens, though he's still 'Invisible'.

gruffnut says:
hello
bloggergirl says:
hi invisible man
gruffnut says:
hi
bloggergirl says:
hi
bloggergirl says:
....
gruffnut says:
how are u
bloggergirl says:
sitting on the couch eating chocolate and patting my hundred cats crying about how nobody loves me. you?
gruffnut says:
sitting on couch wanking watching porn
bloggergirl says:
ah, then we both meet the stereotypes then. lovely!
gruffnut says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
*awaits for the moment to come when you ask if me and a couple of my girl friends want to come over for a pillow fight*
gruffnut says:
nar im happy wankn at momnet
bloggergirl says:
wait... so if a group of girls offered right this second to come over and pillow fight in front of you in their PJs, you'd say 'No thanks, I'm good' ?
gruffnut says:
yer cos i know what u askd wouldnt happpen
bloggergirl says:
not with that attitude!
bloggergirl says:
either that or that's some good porn you're watching
gruffnut says:
good porn
gruffnut says:
what ulooking for?
bloggergirl says:
I think the phrase 'good porn' is an oxymoron
gruffnut says:
my house mates here tho shes asleep
bloggergirl says:
and about here, dear readers is when the last 1% of my hope that he's joking in a sick witty way, similiar to my own mockery, slips into the abyss. (yeah, I did actually say that.)
gruffnut says:
lol
gruffnut says:
love to stop n talk shit but i better get bak to it
bloggergirl says:
yeah true, those big busty girls on the screen are busy, they won't wait for you.
gruffnut says:
thats correct
bloggergirl says:
farewell, captain invisible!
bloggergirl says:
the world is in peril!

*gruffnut has removed you from their contacts.*