About This Site: Social experimentation meets ever-so-slight masochism... or perhaps it's sadism?

These are the results of a few online dating website memberships. Some of what you are about to read are Guest posts, added kindly from others whom I've invited to contribute. The rest are mine.

All of them are real.

In these posts I simply want to point out the basis of my evident misanthropy.

This website is not about me or my search (however much in jest it may be these days :P ), it is about the people I encounter along the process involved. And sharing a few laughs with you, the public.

Males are highlighted in blue, females in pink - I know its a stereotype, but here it's just a visual aid (and if we don't get around to coloring them by the time you read them, well... 'meh').
I don't censor much as far as usernames or the like, but if it is requested I am more than happy to do so, anyone can just comment on the post.

Let's say you stumble across here and find a conversation we've had online posted below, and you don't have a humour of your own, if you want it removed or the username changed then all you need to do is comment and say so. All too easy, yeah?

The joy of the online world is we can enjoy a level of anonymity - that includes the people featured below - and no one needs know of your little indiscretions... unless you're one of those odd folk who use their full names as usernames.

Which serves as a fitting segue into the following pieces of info:

I am never false in these interactions: my pictures on the dating website are real, as are all of my profile details (ie height, weight, interests, location etc), and I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. If you see me answering what I do for a living and my answers differ: it's because I have several j0bs and it's just easier to only mention one.

I am a 20something Australian female interested predominantly in other females... or perhaps males though my profile does state that you have to be a pretty special male to have a chance.
I do state in my profile that I'm looking for Friendship and people to talk to. (Some other posts: I have selected Casual Dating also, and these both change between 'with a male/female/either' - depending on when the conversation takes place on my personal timeline). I don't lead anyone one to believe we'll get together if we won't.
I do share my phone number and IM contact details on the site very, very occasionally if I wish to communicate further.
I do point out that I am not interested in threesomes or the like; that if I want to meet a guy, I'd add a guy; that chicks are not to contact me and ask if their boyfriend can join in/watch.

Enjoy the chuckles that ensue. I do.

My rough guidelines:
1) almost any contact request I accept, and 2) if possible, they must start the conversation first - I like to see with which foot they lead... and subsequently stick in their mouth.
Sometimes I get bored waiting for the fish to bite... so you'll see me break these rules a few times...

And finally, to anyone out there who is also a member on a dating site and actually genuinely looking for love, I have only this to say:
Do not be discouraged by all the conversations you've had with weirdos similar to what you read here. Real people are out there. Sadly, it just takes a lot of sifting through the sand to find them.
Have faith, patience, but most of all, humour.

Peace.
- the blogger girl

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Letter From RiverSong

Open letter to men on chat and dating sites:
Dear Men,
I'm not sure how much clearer I can make this but here it goes....
You need to have something to make women want to chat to you.
A pic of your sunglasses=no chat
A pic of you looking like a serial killer=no chat
You are not "cool" when you frown into a close up, you look like a 2 month old doing a poo.
Great tits is not a good opening line
Neither is dtf, wanna rub my c0ck, I live really close to you or Hi.
Tell us something about yourself and not how you like to f$&k
If your picture/profile is unattractive as in: you look/sound drunk, high, damaged, angry,violent, criminally insane or like a wanker, we won't talk to you.
Just because you witheringly say Hi does not then entitle you to unleash a tirade of abuse on a woman if she refuses your advances. Calling someone you were interested in two seconds ago fat,ugly,stuck up, bitch or any other number of insightful insults does two things, makes that woman tell all of her friends that you are a psycho, and makes you look like a psycho.
Nor does chatting to a woman entitle you to sex with them.
No means no, it doesn't mean, sure why not?? Anyone who still thinks no means otherwise is a predator. Predator =no chat.

If you want to lie about your age? Go ahead. Age doesn't matter but saying you are 23 when you are quite obviously 60 means you are a liar or a major addict. Both = no chat.
Women want to talk to you but only if you actually have something to say. Be honest and upfront and accept rejection or acceptance like a man, not like whining 2 year old.
Don't stalk.
Don't show your member unless asked and particularly don't put that as your introductory private picture.
Don't put a pic up of someone else, if you don't like you enough to put a picture up of who you really are, chances are no woman will either.
Get your shit together before putting your profile up
Use spell check for the sake of all that is holy!!
Decline politely, if a girl wants to chat to you and you don't, that's ok, but pointing out all her flaws and then calling her ugly is just downright rude.
Don't just talk to "hot chicks" read a profile once in a while.
Get over yourself, you are not God's gift to women and don't behave as such.
And can I again reiterate, your penis is not a selling tool. Really look at it one day and seriously ask yourself "Is this better than my smile" if it is.... I can't help you.
Oh and finally..... This goes for all the women out there who behave like this!
Happy Dating!!!
 
-RiverSong