I recently put up some saucy photos on a BDSM website, which is probably what got this guy's attention. My profile specifically says that while other things may be possible, friendship is the first step in any direction. 29 year old guy decides to ignore that and proposition me (27 year old guy) anyway. Gets called on it, and realises he done fucked up.
For clarification, my profile mentions that I'm in a polyamorous relationship (i.e. I have a relationship, but am open to other relationships, and sex)
29YOGUY (not real username): Keen to hook up?
Llama (also not real username: I think if you'd read my profile at all instead of just looking at pictures, you'd probably know the answer to this.
29YOGUY: I did. & I thought well you can only say no.
Sorry to be blunt about it. Ok so I'll leave you alone then.
Llama: Maybe next profile, if you see a rule, don't assume you're the exception to it....
29YOGUY: See a rule? Make friends first?
I know your not monogamous. I would love to play with a couple.
I never assumed I'd be told yes or I would have elaborated more. I was only hoping for a response that didn't say get lost. With what I wrote I knew it wouldn't lead far.
Llama: Correct, make friends first. You are no exception to that rule. There is in fact no exception.
Seriously, it's just respectful.
29YOGUY: Far enough. But how on line? I find it better after meeting. But otherwise to me it feels I'm talking to or reading from a journal.
Once again sorry to be disrespectful. That's one thing I generally think I'm good at. Now reflection time.
Llama: Well, my advice is that at least showing the intention to make friends is a good idea, even if you don't know how to do it online. Ask a question. Comment on something that someone said in their profile. Show an interest in them! Even if you ultimately want to just fuck them/be fucked by them and they're open to that but want to make friends first, explain what about them makes you want that, if you want to.
All the information I got about your intentions were that you wanted to fuck, when I'd made it clear that friendship was the first step anywhere else. That was what was disrespectful.
Good luck with the self-reflection!
