An Oldie

Hello - I'm Llamalland on oasis, and bloggergirl has been kind enough to let me post here.

Some background stuff: I'm a 20something bi guy, and while I get some nauseating women on oasis too, it's mostly the men who make anything appropriate for here, especially the ones who list as straight. I list on my profile that *seriously* propositioning me before meeting me in person is kinda pathetic and really, sorta weird. And why would someone want to agree to sex with a stranger before sussing them out in person, anyway.

Here's an oldie, it's from early last year, and I saved it to my livejournal because it was just too damn entertaining! I was contacted by two guys soon after one another, both listing as straight, and I talked to them both concurrently. It didn't take long to work out that something other than their choice of sexuality-identity was fishy:

fraggle87 says:
hello hello

fraggle87 says:
how are you

fraggle87 says:
u there sexy

Llamalland says:
internet went funny for a sec

fraggle87 says:
lol what u up too>>

Llamalland says:
just playing internet chess

fraggle87 says:
nice u winning

Llamalland says:
so are you actually interested in men? and if so, why not say so on your profile?

fraggle87 says:
just want to try some new things

fraggle87 says:
its true that over 80% of men are bi u know

fraggle87 says:
what u looking for

fraggle87 says:
i want to be fucked in the ass

Llamalland says:
you should probably find a strapon for that. Plenty of straight guys want to be fucked in the ass.

fraggle87 says:
no i want a man to do it

fraggle87 says:
and i like the look of you

fraggle87 says:
if i wanted a strapon or a dildo i would still be wit my ex

fraggle87 says:
so u up for it

Llamalland says:
no

Llamalland says:
I don't sleep with internet randoms

fraggle87 says:
well i wont be just a random nighter

fraggle87 says:
i will be random nights

Llamalland says:
no, I didn't say "I don't have random one nighters"

Llamalland says:
I have them all the time, with people I actually know in person

Llamalland says:
I just said I don't sleep with internet randoms

fraggle87 says:
well well i guess we will hav to meet

Llamalland says:
no, we won't. But maybe you should talk with rukusbrendan, you'll get along with him like a house on fire

fraggle87 says:
he is cute

fraggle87 says:
is he gay??

Llamalland says:
he's at least as gay as you are

fraggle87 says:
??

fraggle87 says:
just wants to try

fraggle87 says:
so u dont want to meet me

fraggle87 says:
if u dont want internet guys why u online

fraggle87 says:
u are such a tease

Llamalland says:
yes, I am a tease because I dare to be on the internet but have the gall to reject an internet random that propositions me

Llamalland says:
I am on this site to meet people and become friends with them, and if it leads to more, ok. Not to have random guys proposition me.

Llamalland says:
But you are right, I am a tease, clearly, because I haven't put on my profile "don't message me asking for random sex"

fraggle87 says:
all i want is some of ur cock ur hotstuff and u turn me on i didnt even read ur profile i just like ur pic

Llamalland says:
and all I want it to mock you and be sarcastic. Unfortunately, only one of us will get what we want

fraggle87 says:
well u miss out pretty boy

Llamalland says:
not really, I'm enjoying the mocking a lot, and I almost certainly get laid more than you

fraggle87 says:
ahahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
ur being sarcastic again as if u get laid more than me

Llamalland says:
I do. Because I'm intelligent, witty and attractive, and know how to flirt without being
nauseating.

fraggle87 says:
hahahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
u are nauseating go play ur chess

Llamalland says:
aaah, now that you're certain you're rejected, you feel like being agressive

fraggle87 says:
no no

fraggle87 says:
ur not witty ur just a prik no need to be an ass

Llamalland says:
sore loser

fraggle87 says:
no ur the one that is going to be the loser in the long run bet ur shit in the sack anyway

fraggle87 says:
ur not even hot

fraggle87 says:
u look like a nerd

fraggle87 says:
with a weird shaped head

fraggle87 says:
big nose and shit hair

Llamalland says:
oh nooooo, the random internet person doesn't like the way I look. I guess I'll just have to fuck away the pain.

fraggle87 says:
hhahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
got ur pump out for ur blow up doll???

fraggle87 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member. (and now for the other one)

rukusbrendan says:
hey chief

Llamalland says:
evenin'

Llamalland says:
how's it going?

rukusbrendan says:
mornin haha

rukusbrendan says:
good and u

Llamalland says:
it's not morning until the sun rises again, in my world

Llamalland says:
pretty good

rukusbrendan says:
true, its not mornin til me and johnson rise either i say@

rukusbrendan says:
what u doin 2day sexy man

rukusbrendan says:
i see u like women and u like men

rukusbrendan says:
have u had a boyfriend b4

Llamalland says:
wondering why someone that is listed as straight would call me sexy, that's what I'm doing right now

rukusbrendan says:
hey just cos it aint on here doesnt mean i dnt like the forbidden fruits... or frank n beans.. i love my share

Llamalland says:
no, no serious relationship with a guy yet

rukusbrendan says:
any sexy fun with a dude?

Llamalland says:
I find it's better to be open and frank about such things. And I don't know why homosexuality should be a forbidden fruit.

rukusbrendan says:
i agree dude

rukusbrendan says:
im gona be open and honest with u... atm im single and my big black dildo gets such a pounding numerous times a day. i wish i had some real meat

rukusbrendan says:
just a man to sink my teeth into like a wild animal rahhhh!!

Llamalland says:
no, that's not open or honest, that's just you stroking your *ahem* ego. Also, dildos don't get poundings, that makes no sense

rukusbrendan says:
what do u mean they dont get poundings... when i shove the knob end up my tight arse i pound the fuck outa it dude.. u should know this if ur really bi

rukusbrendan says:
i dnt think u r.... ur just bi curious

Llamalland says:
no. A dildo does not get a pounding, a dildo *gives* a pounding

Llamalland says:
get it right

rukusbrendan says:
oh well sorry man i didnt know u were so technically correct.. that is a sexy attribute to a mans personality mmm so hot

Llamalland says:
and being randomly fawned over and propositioned by a guy that doesn't really seem to know whether he's straight or bi or gay, isn't honest about it, and thinks homosexuality is forbidden fruit - damn that just makes me so hot

Llamalland says:
hope sarcasm turns you on too, and being mocked

rukusbrendan says:
mate, im just a squirrel tryin to get a nut.. i use this site to meet sexy, smart girls AND guys... i havent come out the closet yet its kinda embarrasing ur mocking me

Llamalland says:
poor kiddo. You'll survive, and someone has to say these things to you, or you'll never learn

rukusbrendan says:
true, and im glad such a sexy man said it to me.. ur pic is making me so hard

rukusbrendan says:
keen to catch up some time?

rukusbrendan says:
u can teach me the ins and outs of butt secks... ive always wanted an older man to teach me

Llamalland says:
you know what? You should talk to fraggle87. I don't want to meet you though, no. But you too will get along great, in fact you guys are so similar I suspect you're the same person using different profiles and pictures

Llamalland says:
but if you aren't, you guys will get along like a house on fire!

rukusbrendan says:
i did a search for him.. he looks cute!!

rukusbrendan says:
have u guys fucked???

rukusbrendan says:
is that why wed get along

Llamalland says:
no, he and you just started talking to me tonight

rukusbrendan says:
i have a great idea...we could all meet up for a 3 sum!!!! ill add him n get to kno him a bit b4 asking

Llamalland says:
no, I think if I went to anything like that, I would meet with either one or two guys, none of which I'd want to sleep with. But you guys go right ahead without me!

rukusbrendan says:
why not at least sleep with me?? i have a good size package

rukusbrendan says:
and i wana taste ur meat dude

Llamalland says:
well we all want some things we can't have

rukusbrendan says:
why are u on this website for ??

Llamalland says:
I am on this site to meet people and become friends with them, and if it leads to more, ok. Not to have random guys proposition me.

rukusbrendan says:
i just want u to fuck my tight brown virgin ring dude.. if ur truely bi youd accept my offer for a few beers.. ill get u drunk then u can bang me

Llamalland says:
Yeah, of course, all bi guys just can't resist any other guys that show an interest.

Llamalland says:
I am bi, I just have taste

rukusbrendan says:
are u saying im ugly..

Llamalland says:
no, you're just a wanker

rukusbrendan says:
ur right.. i could give u a good hand job too if ur keen

rukusbrendan says:
beat u off in 4 mins flat baby ohhh

rukusbrendan says:
ull be blowin everywhere all over me

Llamalland says:
you know what you could do? Give fraggle87 a handjob.

Llamalland says:
bet he'd love it

rukusbrendan says:
hes prob got a bigger cock then u honey

Llamalland says:
I mean, doing it all alone isn't as fun, but it's better than being mocked all the time, isn't it?

Llamalland says:
also, you're bragging about 4 minutes? You have to be kidding.

rukusbrendan says:
the only person being mocked is you dickhead lol

rukusbrendan says:
this chat has been logged idiot lmao its being sent in to a magazine which i will not be telling u the name of haha

Llamalland says:
that's ok, I've already sent copies of both conversations I've had with you to everyone on my mailing list

rukusbrendan says:
lmao the jokes on you cock head hahahhahaha

Llamalland says:
sure it is. *I'm* the joke. You go on thinking that

rukusbrendan says:
lol ur a bi sexual faggot nerd

rukusbrendan says:
mate u should kill urself u look like tom green for fuck sakes

Llamalland says:
and you have tried to chat up this "bisexual faggot nerd" and been completely humiliated in rejection.

rukusbrendan says:
mate im straight as... you are the joke. nothing better than taking the piss out of pathetic losers on here hahahah

Llamalland says:
so you, a straight person, decided to chat up a guy and failed - on two seperate accounts. Yeah, I'm the pathetic one

rukusbrendan says:
on two seperate accounts? nahh me and my mate just find pathetic lookin gay cunts n fat ugly chicks to chat up for our own entertainment bhahahaha

Llamalland says:
oh. That's even more pathetic! I thought you were both one person, but you aren't! And that probably means you're using your own pictures!

rukusbrendan says:
wow u are so fucking smart!!!!

Llamalland says:
and you're calling me ugly!

rukusbrendan says:
im calling u hideous dude.. you look like tom green HAHAHAHAH

Llamalland says:
there aren't even words to describe how pathetic this is. How do you survive looking in the mirror?

rukusbrendan says:
quite easy.. i just buy a new one every time it breaks

rukusbrendan is offline. You can still send this person messages and and they will receive them the next time they are online.

I just love how he seemed to think that the conversation reflected badly on me, and that I'd be mortified to learn that others might read it! And the line about buying a new mirror... he so put me in my place!