About This Site: Social experimentation meets ever-so-slight masochism... or perhaps it's sadism?

These are the results of a few online dating website memberships. Some of what you are about to read are Guest posts, added kindly from others whom I've invited to contribute. The rest are mine.

All of them are real.

In these posts I simply want to point out the basis of my evident misanthropy.

This website is not about me or my search (however much in jest it may be these days :P ), it is about the people I encounter along the process involved. And sharing a few laughs with you, the public.

Males are highlighted in blue, females in pink - I know its a stereotype, but here it's just a visual aid (and if we don't get around to coloring them by the time you read them, well... 'meh').
I don't censor much as far as usernames or the like, but if it is requested I am more than happy to do so, anyone can just comment on the post.

Let's say you stumble across here and find a conversation we've had online posted below, and you don't have a humour of your own, if you want it removed or the username changed then all you need to do is comment and say so. All too easy, yeah?

The joy of the online world is we can enjoy a level of anonymity - that includes the people featured below - and no one needs know of your little indiscretions... unless you're one of those odd folk who use their full names as usernames.

Which serves as a fitting segue into the following pieces of info:

I am never false in these interactions: my pictures on the dating website are real, as are all of my profile details (ie height, weight, interests, location etc), and I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. If you see me answering what I do for a living and my answers differ: it's because I have several j0bs and it's just easier to only mention one.

I am a 20something Australian female interested predominantly in other females... or perhaps males though my profile does state that you have to be a pretty special male to have a chance.
I do state in my profile that I'm looking for Friendship and people to talk to. (Some other posts: I have selected Casual Dating also, and these both change between 'with a male/female/either' - depending on when the conversation takes place on my personal timeline). I don't lead anyone one to believe we'll get together if we won't.
I do share my phone number and IM contact details on the site very, very occasionally if I wish to communicate further.
I do point out that I am not interested in threesomes or the like; that if I want to meet a guy, I'd add a guy; that chicks are not to contact me and ask if their boyfriend can join in/watch.

Enjoy the chuckles that ensue. I do.

My rough guidelines:
1) almost any contact request I accept, and 2) if possible, they must start the conversation first - I like to see with which foot they lead... and subsequently stick in their mouth.
Sometimes I get bored waiting for the fish to bite... so you'll see me break these rules a few times...

And finally, to anyone out there who is also a member on a dating site and actually genuinely looking for love, I have only this to say:
Do not be discouraged by all the conversations you've had with weirdos similar to what you read here. Real people are out there. Sadly, it just takes a lot of sifting through the sand to find them.
Have faith, patience, but most of all, humour.

Peace.
- the blogger girl

Saturday, September 24, 2011

so... I think his name is Pete... but that's the info I could comprende, Ese!

MRGENUINE1111 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: We have common interests.

(N.B cbf colouring his, so you can just deal with it until I do it :P)

bloggergirl says:
what common interests would they be?
bloggergirl says:
other than we both like boobs?
bloggergirl says:
evidently the ability to read profiles isn't one thing we have in common
bloggergirl says:
....so come on, wow me,,,
bloggergirl says:
*waits*
MRGENUINE1111 says:
hi hows things babe
bloggergirl says:
ooh reading just isn't your strong point huh?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sorry wish i could ring ya hey whats ya mobile !!!
bloggergirl says:
here's a tip - on a dating site, maybe uploading many photos in which you are wearing a Jason/Hannibal Lector mask... probably not the greatest brainwave to get chicks to talk to you... let alone give out their numbers within the first 30sec of conversation
bloggergirl says:
tho the USA flag in the background does certainly lend a sophisticated and classy touch to them
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah true my mask is one thing but its my hidden treasure most women want LOL LOL pete x
bloggergirl says:
why do you sign your name? Do you think I will have forgotten it so soon?
Or perhaps you think you're writing a letter?
Possibly I'm just a bot... may as well be, this seems to be a very one sided interaction...
I am yet to be wow'd
bloggergirl says:
not that the reference to women wanting your 'hidden treasure' wasn't highly original or suave
bloggergirl says:
your interests listed: cars fishing football cricket gardning
wow it's like we're twins
bloggergirl says:
...you've gone quiet Mr Radtastic
bloggergirl says:
well, quietER
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sorry to upset you, hey and your expectations on here most men on here are married or involved some way TRUE {iam not } GENUINE 100% SINGLE
MRGENUINE1111 says:
Hi you still there babe ?
bloggergirl says:
my computer failed, mayhaps from conversation atrophy
bloggergirl says:
but funny I don't recall mentioning anything about my expectations of men, let alone it relating to their involvement with others
MRGENUINE1111 says:
computers, really suck some times hey
bloggergirl says:
why 'hey?'
bloggergirl says:
is that a question?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
your quick at typing hey !!
bloggergirl says:
are you Canadian? or attracting attention *after* the sentence?
bloggergirl says:
hey hey hey hey hey hey
bloggergirl says:
let's do away with anything else, and just grunt and say hey
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmm Just come back from the USA babe
bloggergirl says:
And yes, I'm a whole generation away from you - I can navigate a keyboard
bloggergirl says:
Why do you call me babe? Do you call any random chicks you just started talking to a term of endearment without knowing if she likes/approves or not?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yes you can !
MRGENUINE1111 says:
No i call women babe when i think i may like them thats all no offence
bloggergirl says:
lol what on earth have I given you as a reason to think you may like me?
you've not even answered my first question...
what are these common interests you claim we have?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
my common interests with you are iam single avaliable and iam attractive !!
bloggergirl says:
LMFAO
bloggergirl says:
you fucking serious?
bloggergirl says:
thats your secret recipe for compatibility?
bloggergirl says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MRGENUINE1111 says:
No friendship and see what happends !!!
bloggergirl says:
read my goddam profile, moron. I dig chicks and if a guy even wants a *chance* at chatting me up he has to be an impressive son of a bitch who can hold a conversation and so far the only thing you've made moist on me is my brain running out of my ears from this hell boring dribble you're giving out
bloggergirl says:
*waits for the essay of reply*
MRGENUINE1111 says:
Typing is good and your good at it but are you the same on the phone, anyway iam only interested in Bi girls for a relationship my mobile is ****245265 txt is good and i will ring ya now cheers pete
bloggergirl says:
lol oh jesus dude, you don't get it huh?
bloggergirl says:
why only bi girls? you want a threesome?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
had threesomes before done that want a sole mate
bloggergirl says:
is that something you buy for your shoes?
bloggergirl says:
so why can only a bi girl be a soulmate?
bloggergirl says:
dude why the fuck would I give you my number? honestly.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
hetro girls are great but iam attracted to bi girls dont know why
bloggergirl says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
so the two of you can perve on a hot chick that passes you?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
no thats not it trust me
bloggergirl says:
Go suck my plastic press-stud phallus, fella. I don't know why you're still trying with me.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
broadminded lady does it for me hey
bloggergirl says:
yeah, trust you. Uh-huh, I'll write that down:
"Note to self, trust the boring creepy horrorfilm masked man I just started talking to online. Even though he keeps wanting to talk on the phone and can't take the hint that I'd rather swallow a snail thickshake than pursue this via any further medium"
MRGENUINE1111 says:
you seem real angry at me i feel why babe
bloggergirl says:
hey hey hey we're back to speaking in hey
bloggergirl says:
nah, not angry. Just amused.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah hey i need a horse lol
bloggergirl says:
oh and now we've descended into random references in an attempt to stay involved with the mockery
bloggergirl says:
nice one
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam really a nice guy ring me
bloggergirl says:
HAHAAHAHA why?? You haven't answered that once!
bloggergirl says:
why would I a) waste my credit, b) give you my number in doing so, and c) want to converse verbally with someone who finishes each sentence with hey, hey hey hey hey hey
bloggergirl says:
?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam looking for a friend and see what happends thats all
bloggergirl says:
I'm not your friend.
bloggergirl says:
And what will happen is that I will continue to laugh at you.
bloggergirl says:
And you should be spending this time chatting to someon who actually *wants* your company - that said, thanks for the high level of entertainment.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah true but iam only trying to be nice not have a go at anyone
bloggergirl says:
the first paragraph of my 'About Me' details that I am not similarly inclined.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
are you open minded then
bloggergirl says:
dude, wtf does that even mean? and are you even reading what I'm typing here?
you got your own lil script there, huh?
bloggergirl says:
you want a girl to do you with a strap on, hey?
thats the attraction to bi girls
MRGENUINE1111 says:
no strap on ive been in a relationship for 5 years with 2 women done all sorts of shit
bloggergirl says:
oooooh I am so unbelievably and all-consumingly impressed
bloggergirl says:
aren't you going away yet?
bloggergirl says:
guys like you make girls like me be less attracted to guys in general.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
why would i go away
bloggergirl says:
Cos I think you're a wanker that doesn't get the hint that I think as such?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam a genuine person who loves a relationship and sex
bloggergirl says:
so?
bloggergirl says:
that interests me how?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
well iam on here to find friends and see what happends thats all
bloggergirl says:
So you've said. REPEATEDLY.
And I've said, repeatedly, to piss off and that I've no interest in being friends with you.
bloggergirl says:
so how about you fuck off now?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sorry we can talk about something different i will take the mask off lol pete x
bloggergirl says:
dude, I swear you're brain dead.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah mum said that when i was born lol
bloggergirl says:
no shit, they slapped the wrong end or something?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yes they did slap the wrong end
bloggergirl says:
yeah ok, I'm going now. You're quite obviously retarded.
bloggergirl says:
Well no, you're not, but you should try it sometime. I think you'd excel.
bloggergirl says:
bye, good luck with.... whatever it is you're vaguely after.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
hi its pete, hope you will ring me for a chat i can not type my mobile is ****245265 txt is good please get back love to hear from ya BABE
bloggergirl says:
omg, I hope you're just a very clever bot.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me now love to hear ya
bloggergirl says:
up yours
MRGENUINE1111 says:
why up mine your the women trying to be a guy on here lol
bloggergirl says:
funny motherfucker arent you?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmmm hey mate try gay match maker mmmm
bloggergirl says:
blah blah blah
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ya might get it up the ass on gay match maker HEY
bloggergirl says:
oh so it *can* get fired up! looky there!
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmmm just come out and say your a guy
bloggergirl says:
no honey I think thats more up your alley... pardon the pun... And I hope for your sake you're not stupid enough to put your actual number on here
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah thats my number remember it iam a cop
bloggergirl says:
hahahahaahaha nope, not a guy. just a chick who thinks you're very uninteresting and doesn't want to play in the sandpit with you
bloggergirl says:
oooh a cop - even if I believed you, wtf could you do it me? fuck all is what.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sandpitt whats that sand castles
bloggergirl says:
hmmm actually, with intellect like that.. maybe you *are* a cop.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yes i can smell my prey thats why i keep typing lol
bloggergirl says:
lol prey! uh-huh, for what?
come on, scare me!
MRGENUINE1111 says:
scare you i thought the mask was enough lol
bloggergirl says:
I think the sheer thought that you exist in the community somewhere and pass for a functioning human is frightening enough
MRGENUINE1111 says:
cheers why are you on here
bloggergirl says:
I told you, interactions like these amuse me.
I mean sure if I want to talk to someone, I add them. But you added me, remember?
Why are you on here? I think you've been just as amused
MRGENUINE1111 says:
looking for love or friendship
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me ****245265
bloggergirl says:
yeah... no thanks.
bloggergirl says:
persistent lil tyke huh?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
why you can type quick but ya cant talk or have a mans voice!! ???
bloggergirl says:
lol you're convinced of that huh? well if it gets you off my case trying to get me to call you then yeah, okay sure I'm a guy, why not?
bloggergirl says:
I'll say I'm a guy if it means you run along happy
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmmm your a women very lonely and horny mmm
bloggergirl says:
hahahaha
bloggergirl says:
changing tactics?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
no
bloggergirl says:
you calling me horny or are you stating that you are?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me you wont be disappointed ****245265
bloggergirl says:
I'm pretty sure I will
MRGENUINE1111 says:
RING NOW
bloggergirl says:
lol okay humour me, say I call you. what exactly will you say or do that will be soooo amazing? I'll hear you shoot your load?
well cock-a-doodle-doo
bloggergirl says:
see there, how rude you didn't even say please.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
i say please pete xxxxx
bloggergirl says:
nah, fuck you... oh wait, you probably already are.
Sorry man, I don't get paid to listen to guys wank like some of the women out there.
bloggergirl says:
I guess that accounts for the slow typing
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmmmm i wait for you ladys first RING
bloggergirl says:
lol you're a dickwad
bloggergirl says:
this is what I love about guys, once they're on the homestretch, it doesn't matter what we do or say
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmm talk to me on the phone
bloggergirl says:
nah
bloggergirl says:
and if I'm doing you any favours by still talking to you here then I now pronounce me silent and not helping you have your lonely internet wank
MRGENUINE1111 says:
come on ring me or txt me i hate typing lol
bloggergirl says:
I bet, it'd take up valuable jerking time. how inconvenient.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me now
bloggergirl says:
*zips mouth shut* nah, go choke your chicken all by yourself.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmm i wanna hear your voice
MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me
bloggergirl says:
ooh look! emoticons!
bloggergirl says:
MRGENUINE1111 says:
cum on be brave
bloggergirl says:
awww can't you cum without me on the phone?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
i have a high sex drive i
bloggergirl says:
okay! goodnight!

*I click to Appear Offline*

MRGENUINE1111 says:
ring me babe !!!! pete enjoyed your spills hey !!


*MRGENUINE1111 has been removed from your contacts.*


MRGENUINE1111 sent you a flirt. "Hi There"
(Animation of a guy in a suit saying 'Hi There')

You have sent a flirt to MRGENUINE1111.
(Animation of a kitty that reads: "Sorry, you're not who I'm looking for. Good luck finding someone".)




Jeeez, what a oddity.
This job is so weird sometimes.
That whole interaction took about 2(ish) hours. Boy's got stamina, I'll give him that.



****oh for oh oh


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