Glad I'm not alone in this

I feel like I'm not the only one somehow.
Notice an ever persistent theme? So have these folk.

Llama guest post again

Closet gay guys, they're the salmon that jumps on the hook.... fordfalcon351: hi

Llamalland: ello there

fordfalcon351: how is?

Llamalland: is good

Llamalland: gotta wonder what a straight guy with relatively little in common with me added me for, though

fordfalcon351: im bi but dont advertise

fordfalcon351: how big are you?? cut or uncut?

Llamalland: bi but so far in the closet about it that you don't even say so on a dating website?

fordfalcon351: im scott and you are?

fordfalcon351: nah know too many people

Llamalland: scared of people knowing who you really are?

fordfalcon351: nah got too much to loose

fordfalcon351: plus its no one elses business

Llamalland: but it's everyone else's business that you like girls, right?

Llamalland: What do you have to lose?

fordfalcon351: heaps! ya wanna play or not?

fordfalcon351: yes or no ansa easy

Llamalland: you crack me up :P this kinda thing will never work on me, but you might want to try a little more foreplay for your game when you try it on other people.

fordfalcon351: not interested just want to play

Llamalland: well, you have hands. Have fun playing with them

fordfalcon351: well just cause your a screamin fag dont mean we all have to be!!!

Llamalland: I'm a screaming bi - and no matter open someone is, they have to seduce my brain before my cock joins in.

fordfalcon351: well i can make you hard enuf if we meet

fordfalcon351: thats all that matters

Llamalland: to you

fordfalcon351: what ever

fordfalcon351: you wanna play or not?

Llamalland: you're really still asking?

fordfalcon351: well go fuck yourself then cunt!

fordfalcon351 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.

Llama guest post - Can't get out of the closet.

Straight guy adds me. Almost always funny!

Llamalland: hello there

benadelaide1723: hey how are you

Llamalland: good, yourself?

benadelaide1723: bored as

Llamalland: why else are people here?

benadelaide1723: yeah

benadelaide1723: what you into

Llamalland: I think that's a better question for you

benadelaide1723: why is that u tell me

Llamalland: you appear to be straight

benadelaide1723: im bi curious

benadelaide1723: im a top to

Llamalland: but so far in the closet about it that you only say on your profile that you're interested in women?

benadelaide1723: im sorry if your offended

benadelaide1723: dont have to chat then

Llamalland: it just seems strange

Llamalland: I would suggest if you're looking for guys, you be honest about it on your profile

benadelaide1723: ok then

Llamalland: and hey, you're still looking for girls, right? They'll probably be turned on by that

benadelaide1723: nope

Llamalland: so hang on, let me get this straight. You are looking for guys, you aren't looking for women, but according to your profile, you're looking for women and not looking for men?

benadelaide1723: i like both is that problem do you like to hook up with guys yes or no

Llamalland: I think if you'd read my profile, you'd know the answer to that, and you'd know that honesty is important to me

benadelaide1723: would u like to hook up

Llamalland: with an internet random who doesn't admit on his profile that he likes guys, who I have no idea what he looks like, and I've never met?

Llamalland: nah

benadelaide1723: your lose

benadelaide1723 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.

The brain is a muscle too?

I add a guy whose profile seems more intent on selling his (admittedly impressive) buff body.
Selected Greeting: I think you are really hot.

Naturally, that bait is too tasty to resist...

Newlysingle2011 says:
Pics?
bloggergirl says:
on my prof
Newlysingle2011 says:
Its locked
bloggergirl says:
unlocked
Newlysingle2011 says:
Skype?
bloggergirl says:
i like to chat on here first - safety first
*Newlysingle2011 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.*

Betty: everyone wants her for a puppy

 Oh Betty, I'm sure there's a dog and bone joke here...

Betty says:
hey, how's it going?

coolcat211 says:

good and u

Betty says:
yeah not too shabby

coolcat211 says:

ok im andy btw

Betty says:
Betty
Betty says:
nice to meet you

coolcat211 says:

yeh u 2 dog

Betty says:
dog?

coolcat211 says:

yeh u look like my puppy no offense

coolcat211 says:

lol

Betty says:
well that's something I've never heard before

coolcat211 says:

u can b my puppy dog

Betty says:
no, I don't think so

coolcat211 says:

i think i fuked u b4

coolcat211 says:

serious lol my mates here and he did lmao

Betty says:
you don't look familiar?

the name should say it all

Another guest post from Betty

dutchrapist2 says:

hey

Betty says:
hey, how's it going?

dutchrapist2 says:

cold and got a headache lol

dutchrapist2 says:

u?

Betty says:
cold also, but warming up
Betty says:
what's with the username?

dutchrapist2 says:

what, you dont like it?

Betty says:
it's different

dutchrapist2 says:

;P

dutchrapist2 says:

yeh lol, so what r u looking for on here

Betty says:
new people to talk to, new friends, who knows really

dutchrapist2 says:

oh i see

dutchrapist2 says:

nothin casual?

Betty says:
not really what I'm looking for no, unless you're 6 foot, ripped and have a cock like a donkey

dutchrapist2 says:

ah, damn

dutchrapist2 says:

lol

Don't laugh...

You may meet someone online just the same one day


Thanks to David Thorne for the chuckle.
http://www.27bslash6.com

Llama guest post: real life edition!

Llama again. I was at a public bathroom when against the wall, I saw "[phone number] bi guy pays to suck" in pencil. I figure someone's being mean to the owner of the number. I rub it out, but not before messaging this person:

Llamalland guest post - breaking records!

Even the other guys I've posted conversations with here have lasted longer than this guy:

28 year old ostensibly straight guy requests me, his profile makes a kinda big point of wanting a woman, so I couldn't resist.

Greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.

adzzys says:
Hi



Llamalland says:
hello

adzzys says:
What u doing.


Llamalland says:
just finished eating

adzzys says:
Right. U gay


Llamalland says:
why do you want to know?

adzzys says:
Just curious

adzzys says:
So are u

adzzys says:
Do u suck cock

adzzys says:
??????


Llamalland says:
Do you?

adzzys says:
No

adzzys says:
So do u


Llamalland says:
then why would it matter?

adzzys says:
Because I want to know

adzzys says:
Do u


Llamalland says:
why do you want to know?

adzzys says:
Why u think


Llamalland says:
I'm guessing you're a closet gay, trying not to admit it and hoping to hook up

adzzys says:
Do u want to suck

adzzys says:
I'm curious.

adzzys says:
And yes hook up

adzzys says:
Yes or no

adzzys says:
Well ??????


Llamalland says:
how much of my profile did you read?

Llamalland says:
You must have started masturbating before you read this part:

Llamalland says:
"I don't get why you'd want to proposition me before even meeting me. I'm not going to accept. If you really want to get into my pants, you're not getting an invitation except in person (and even then, you have to be pretty awesome). I might be open and honest about sex and what I look for, but that doesn't mean I'll just fuck whoever asks without even meeting them!"

adzzys has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.

Well, you can't win all their hearts....

Llama Guest Post - jam after guys for sex

45 year old guy (listed as straight) tries to chat me (26 year old bi guy) up. There is mention of toast spreads. I don't even....

southsider1966 says:
Hi there
Llamalland says:
hiya
southsider1966 says:
What are you after off system
Llamalland says:
off system?
southsider1966 says:
Off of hear guys girls
Llamalland says:
I'd have thought my profile made that clear
southsider1966 says:
Yes jam after guys for sex
Llamalland says:
Jam after guys for sex? Sounds sticky.
southsider1966 says:
Thats the general idea
southsider1966 says:
How do you like it
Llamalland says:
I don't know, I'm in to a lot of kinky shit, but jam? I think I'd rather just eat it on toast.
southsider1966 says:
I like kinky stuff too
Llamalland says:
when did you first get into jam?
southsider1966 says:
Years ago. When about 10
Llamalland says:
and what turns you on about jam?
southsider1966 says:
How young it can be and wet it gets
Llamalland says:
how young it can be? Does jam's age really matter that much to you?
southsider1966 says:
No my mate I like all ages
Llamalland says:
of jam. Right.
Llamalland says:
What about marmalade, are you into that?
southsider1966 says:
Yes pf course. Tasted different but still good
Llamalland says:
vegemite?
southsider1966 says:
Yes. And strawberry jam
Llamalland says:
is that your favourite jam for after sex with guys
Llamalland says:
?
southsider1966 says:
Yez
southsider1966 says:
How do you like to cum
Llamalland says:
orgasmically
southsider1966 says:
In a arse
Llamalland says:
no, I prefer to come in nice people
southsider1966 says:
In my arse then
Llamalland says:
not unless there's vegemite involved
southsider1966 says:
Yes I can shit if you like
Llamalland says:
you shit vegemite?
Llamalland says:
oh man
Llamalland says:
you should just eat like crazy and shit all day, you'd be able to make so much money