About This Site: Social experimentation meets ever-so-slight masochism... or perhaps it's sadism?

These are the results of a few online dating website memberships. Some of what you are about to read are Guest posts, added kindly from others whom I've invited to contribute. The rest are mine.

All of them are real.

In these posts I simply want to point out the basis of my evident misanthropy.

This website is not about me or my search (however much in jest it may be these days :P ), it is about the people I encounter along the process involved. And sharing a few laughs with you, the public.

Males are highlighted in blue, females in pink - I know its a stereotype, but here it's just a visual aid (and if we don't get around to coloring them by the time you read them, well... 'meh').
I don't censor much as far as usernames or the like, but if it is requested I am more than happy to do so, anyone can just comment on the post.

Let's say you stumble across here and find a conversation we've had online posted below, and you don't have a humour of your own, if you want it removed or the username changed then all you need to do is comment and say so. All too easy, yeah?

The joy of the online world is we can enjoy a level of anonymity - that includes the people featured below - and no one needs know of your little indiscretions... unless you're one of those odd folk who use their full names as usernames.

Which serves as a fitting segue into the following pieces of info:

I am never false in these interactions: my pictures on the dating website are real, as are all of my profile details (ie height, weight, interests, location etc), and I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. If you see me answering what I do for a living and my answers differ: it's because I have several j0bs and it's just easier to only mention one.

I am a 20something Australian female interested predominantly in other females... or perhaps males though my profile does state that you have to be a pretty special male to have a chance.
I do state in my profile that I'm looking for Friendship and people to talk to. (Some other posts: I have selected Casual Dating also, and these both change between 'with a male/female/either' - depending on when the conversation takes place on my personal timeline). I don't lead anyone one to believe we'll get together if we won't.
I do share my phone number and IM contact details on the site very, very occasionally if I wish to communicate further.
I do point out that I am not interested in threesomes or the like; that if I want to meet a guy, I'd add a guy; that chicks are not to contact me and ask if their boyfriend can join in/watch.

Enjoy the chuckles that ensue. I do.

My rough guidelines:
1) almost any contact request I accept, and 2) if possible, they must start the conversation first - I like to see with which foot they lead... and subsequently stick in their mouth.
Sometimes I get bored waiting for the fish to bite... so you'll see me break these rules a few times...

And finally, to anyone out there who is also a member on a dating site and actually genuinely looking for love, I have only this to say:
Do not be discouraged by all the conversations you've had with weirdos similar to what you read here. Real people are out there. Sadly, it just takes a lot of sifting through the sand to find them.
Have faith, patience, but most of all, humour.

Peace.
- the blogger girl

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Llama Guest Post Woo! Zany!!

eaglejoe says:

hi

eaglejoe says:

zany luck on a hot cock suck

eaglejoe says:

any

Llamalland says:

I preferred it as zany.

eaglejoe says:

wtf.??

Llamalland says:

zany luck on a hot cock suck sounds much more fun

eaglejoe says:

wanna have fun,

Llamalland says:

I am having fun

eaglejoe says:

fuck ok, can't be that good. your typing to me?

Llamalland says:

maybe I'm audio dictating

eaglejoe has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Don't shit a shitter...


Conversation started in an anonymous room, then abruptly stopped but was already a bit suspicious at this point... broke my blog's rules by keeping my details to myself except a skype name.


*julia.anton.sexy is sending you a contact request*

bloggergirl: hey
julia: hi
julia: sorry my network
julia: =/
bloggergirl: oh, I thought maybe you werent real after all
julia: owww nooo
julia: because of my little son
bloggergirl: oh you have a young'n?
julia: he unconnected the lectrcirt of acces point
julia: ow sorry
julia: little brother
bloggergirl: hehe yeah that'd do it
bloggergirl: thats an interesting mixup of words... I don't care if you have a son lol
julia: :D I havent soon
julia: I am younger
bloggergirl: doesnt mean much today :P
julia: =)
julia: u have lesbian friend?
julia: my friend be offline =/
bloggergirl: you mean online or offline?
julia: :D 
julia: offline 
julia: you can cathc her
julia: but 
julia: she gone =/
julia: you have lesbian friend 
julia: ?
bloggergirl: you mean do I have a lesbian friend online, or in real world?
julia: on skype
julia: u have facebook?
bloggergirl: yeah but I dont add people I dont know real world
julia: mmm ok
julia: :(
bloggergirl: why you want my FB?
julia: I am always on there
julia: I am not here always;9
julia: we can talk on there;)
bloggergirl: you know, the way you talk... you're a pro at this arent you?
julia: pro?
julia: I cant understand you
julia: *sends me julia.anton.127*
julia: this is me
bloggergirl: you kept telling me your skypename, and keep pushing your FB.
bloggergirl: you cam/chat online for $ huh?
julia: I need to go dinner my mom calling me
julia: but Iwill come back in 5 or 10 min
julia: ;)
bloggergirl: ahuh.
julia: ok
julia: ;)
julia: wait me
bloggergirl: are you really from london?
julia: yes
bloggergirl: Not originally, though.
julia: my father from here
bloggergirl: At least, English isn't your first language...
julia: but my mom from california
bloggergirl: is it?
julia: =)
julia: yes
bloggergirl: ahuh
julia: I alwys visitng somewhere from my child
julia: because of my father job =/
bloggergirl: so if English is your native language, how come you can't speak it?
julia: turkish
julia: I need to go
julia: my mom =/
bloggergirl: Yeah, there we go.
bloggergirl: righto


call started
julia: open light<*
julia: so dark
julia: ı cant see you
bloggergirl: so here's a question, how come the video is the same as the last one you played me?
julia: what
julia: I cant understand you
julia: =S
julia: u are recording me ?
julia: :(
bloggergirl: what? how do you get that from that
bloggergirl: I'm actually calling out that your cam is pre-recorded
bloggergirl: which doesn't mean I'm recording you, it means that the footage you just showed as your cam was exactly the same as the 'cam' you showed me a few minutes ago. Unless you're an OCD creature of habit?
julia: u like boys?
bloggergirl: lol dude I already know that you're not even a chick. I'm not stupid, moron
call ends around the 3min mark
julia: wait
julia: I will call my lesbian friend 
julia: she came back 
julia: look
some weird attempt at adding another party to the conversation, but the offline contact disconnects
bloggergirl: you need a hobby, and you need to learn to bullshit better
pause
julia: ı recored you
julia: and face
julia: ;)
julia: ı will watch you again and again
julia: u there?
bloggergirl: hahah
bloggergirl: i didn't show my face or anything, so enjoy that.
julia: u showed me last chat :D
julia: ok bye
bloggergirl: lol prove it
bloggergirl: show me my own face
julia: ok wait
julia: ı am saving in my hdd
julia: wait little
julia: long video of you
bloggergirl: okay, ...waiting.
julia: ı have your facebook:D
julia: I found you
bloggergirl: yeah, sure you do.
bloggergirl: prove it
bloggergirl: ...I'll be scared when you prove it!
bloggergirl: idiot
bloggergirl: get better at this game and you'll be good
bloggergirl: but don't try to troll a troll ;)
julia: bye


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

So people can learn, now! Wow - Llama guest post.

Llama here! So this is a more uplifting post. It proves people can learn manners!

I recently put up some saucy photos on a BDSM website, which is probably what got this guy's attention. My profile specifically says that while other things may be possible, friendship is the first step in any direction. 29 year old guy decides to ignore that and proposition me (27 year old guy) anyway. Gets called on it, and realises he done fucked up.

For clarification, my profile mentions that I'm in a polyamorous relationship (i.e. I have a relationship, but am open to other relationships, and sex)

29YOGUY (not real username): Keen to hook up?

Llama (also not real username: I think if you'd read my profile at all instead of just looking at pictures, you'd probably know the answer to this.

29YOGUY: I did. & I thought well you can only say no.

Sorry to be blunt about it. Ok so I'll leave you alone then.

Llama: Maybe next profile, if you see a rule, don't assume you're the exception to it....

29YOGUY: See a rule? Make friends first?

I know your not monogamous. I would love to play with a couple.

I never assumed I'd be told yes or I would have elaborated more. I was only hoping for a response that didn't say get lost. With what I wrote I knew it wouldn't lead far.

Llama: Correct, make friends first. You are no exception to that rule. There is in fact no exception.

Seriously, it's just respectful.

29YOGUY: Far enough. But how on line? I find it better after meeting. But otherwise to me it feels I'm talking to or reading from a journal.

Once again sorry to be disrespectful. That's one thing I generally think I'm good at. Now reflection time.

Llama: Well, my advice is that at least showing the intention to make friends is a good idea, even if you don't know how to do it online. Ask a question. Comment on something that someone said in their profile. Show an interest in them! Even if you ultimately want to just fuck them/be fucked by them and they're open to that but want to make friends first, explain what about them makes you want that, if you want to.

All the information I got about your intentions were that you wanted to fuck, when I'd made it clear that friendship was the first step anywhere else. That was what was disrespectful.

Good luck with the self-reflection!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Oh this was so short I forgot to post it when it happened...

bloggergirl says:
hey there
bloggergirl says:
thanks for adding
nikkisexy7 says:
hey
bloggergirl says:
how are you?
nikkisexy7 says:
horny lol
bloggergirl says:
ah, well there goes any hope that you're perhaps unlike the majority of people on here
bloggergirl says:
I guess it explains the long wait between replies from you... must be hard to type with one hand

nikkisexy7 has removed you from their contacts.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Letter From RiverSong

Open letter to men on chat and dating sites:
Dear Men,
I'm not sure how much clearer I can make this but here it goes....
You need to have something to make women want to chat to you.
A pic of your sunglasses=no chat
A pic of you looking like a serial killer=no chat
You are not "cool" when you frown into a close up, you look like a 2 month old doing a poo.
Great tits is not a good opening line
Neither is dtf, wanna rub my c0ck, I live really close to you or Hi.
Tell us something about yourself and not how you like to f$&k
If your picture/profile is unattractive as in: you look/sound drunk, high, damaged, angry,violent, criminally insane or like a wanker, we won't talk to you.
Just because you witheringly say Hi does not then entitle you to unleash a tirade of abuse on a woman if she refuses your advances. Calling someone you were interested in two seconds ago fat,ugly,stuck up, bitch or any other number of insightful insults does two things, makes that woman tell all of her friends that you are a psycho, and makes you look like a psycho.
Nor does chatting to a woman entitle you to sex with them.
No means no, it doesn't mean, sure why not?? Anyone who still thinks no means otherwise is a predator. Predator =no chat.

If you want to lie about your age? Go ahead. Age doesn't matter but saying you are 23 when you are quite obviously 60 means you are a liar or a major addict. Both = no chat.
Women want to talk to you but only if you actually have something to say. Be honest and upfront and accept rejection or acceptance like a man, not like whining 2 year old.
Don't stalk.
Don't show your member unless asked and particularly don't put that as your introductory private picture.
Don't put a pic up of someone else, if you don't like you enough to put a picture up of who you really are, chances are no woman will either.
Get your shit together before putting your profile up
Use spell check for the sake of all that is holy!!
Decline politely, if a girl wants to chat to you and you don't, that's ok, but pointing out all her flaws and then calling her ugly is just downright rude.
Don't just talk to "hot chicks" read a profile once in a while.
Get over yourself, you are not God's gift to women and don't behave as such.
And can I again reiterate, your penis is not a selling tool. Really look at it one day and seriously ask yourself "Is this better than my smile" if it is.... I can't help you.
Oh and finally..... This goes for all the women out there who behave like this!
Happy Dating!!!
 
-RiverSong