About This Site: Social experimentation meets ever-so-slight masochism... or perhaps it's sadism?

These are the results of a few online dating website memberships. Some of what you are about to read are Guest posts, added kindly from others whom I've invited to contribute. The rest are mine.

All of them are real.

In these posts I simply want to point out the basis of my evident misanthropy.

This website is not about me or my search (however much in jest it may be these days :P ), it is about the people I encounter along the process involved. And sharing a few laughs with you, the public.

Males are highlighted in blue, females in pink - I know its a stereotype, but here it's just a visual aid (and if we don't get around to coloring them by the time you read them, well... 'meh').
I don't censor much as far as usernames or the like, but if it is requested I am more than happy to do so, anyone can just comment on the post.

Let's say you stumble across here and find a conversation we've had online posted below, and you don't have a humour of your own, if you want it removed or the username changed then all you need to do is comment and say so. All too easy, yeah?

The joy of the online world is we can enjoy a level of anonymity - that includes the people featured below - and no one needs know of your little indiscretions... unless you're one of those odd folk who use their full names as usernames.

Which serves as a fitting segue into the following pieces of info:

I am never false in these interactions: my pictures on the dating website are real, as are all of my profile details (ie height, weight, interests, location etc), and I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. If you see me answering what I do for a living and my answers differ: it's because I have several j0bs and it's just easier to only mention one.

I am a 20something Australian female interested predominantly in other females... or perhaps males though my profile does state that you have to be a pretty special male to have a chance.
I do state in my profile that I'm looking for Friendship and people to talk to. (Some other posts: I have selected Casual Dating also, and these both change between 'with a male/female/either' - depending on when the conversation takes place on my personal timeline). I don't lead anyone one to believe we'll get together if we won't.
I do share my phone number and IM contact details on the site very, very occasionally if I wish to communicate further.
I do point out that I am not interested in threesomes or the like; that if I want to meet a guy, I'd add a guy; that chicks are not to contact me and ask if their boyfriend can join in/watch.

Enjoy the chuckles that ensue. I do.

My rough guidelines:
1) almost any contact request I accept, and 2) if possible, they must start the conversation first - I like to see with which foot they lead... and subsequently stick in their mouth.
Sometimes I get bored waiting for the fish to bite... so you'll see me break these rules a few times...

And finally, to anyone out there who is also a member on a dating site and actually genuinely looking for love, I have only this to say:
Do not be discouraged by all the conversations you've had with weirdos similar to what you read here. Real people are out there. Sadly, it just takes a lot of sifting through the sand to find them.
Have faith, patience, but most of all, humour.

Peace.
- the blogger girl

Sunday, November 13, 2011

...twice in the same place?

bodyofronaldo... I mean, LIGHTNINGSTRIKES would like to be added to your contacts.
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.

N.B practically the same profile pic on this account. But a few more drugs I think.
see earlier interaction here

bloggergirl says:
Hi
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
hi hru?
bloggergirl says:
how's ronaldo going?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
good how u know
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
u clever
bloggergirl says:
......umm cos unlike you I take notice to details... like for example your picture is exactly the same?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is your name
bloggergirl says:
why should I tell you anything? You were trying to trick me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may i see ur priv pic?
bloggergirl says:
nope
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am female
bloggergirl says:
HAHAHA righto
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i have had my cok cut off
bloggergirl says:
um I hate to break it to you, but an absence of a penis does not a woman make
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
there is a virgin hole there now
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety it is made a lady
bloggergirl says:
that sounds... disgusting
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am femineas they are
bloggergirl says:
Ronaldo has a woman's body now?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety may i please see ur priv pic my pussy is wet
bloggergirl says:
you're a really bad actor
bloggergirl says:
and you'd make a really ugly woman
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
it is no act i am real lady
bloggergirl says:
lol sure
bloggergirl says:
that's why you're talking like every other guy on here
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we talk on ph to prove it
bloggergirl says:
hahaha ok then, give me your number, I dare you.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
0434082***
bloggergirl says:
I'm going to call and I want you to say 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ring me
bloggergirl says:
will you say that?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
*thumbs up icon*
(blocking my number, I call. An audibly smiling male replies 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'. I laugh and hang up)
bloggergirl says:
rofl
bloggergirl says:
your penis may have been cut off, but your testicles must still be attached, deep voice you got there lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
see i am wet
bloggergirl says:
man, what are you smokin?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on can i please take u out for drink?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we go to mars bar
bloggergirl says:
I don't drink and if I did it wouldn't be with you, esp not a nutter sayin the weird as shtick you're saying lol
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may u show me ur priv now that i gave u my number
?
bloggergirl says:
nope, I don't remember agreeing to that
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
well can i meet u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cutie?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i so wish u iand i can date
bloggergirl says:
lol nah, meet a guy who talks about cutting dicks off? I think that's how serial killers start out isn't it?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no sweety or am a rapist
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
dare u give me your number
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
just one date
bloggergirl says:
nah, I'm not as foolish to give my number out to anyone who asks. You're lucky I'm not the crazy one.
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians don't date old male nutters.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
will u for baby i am nice person
bloggergirl says:
nah, sorry not interested.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good licker
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
best u get
bloggergirl says:
Oh right, cos thats the only reasons lesbians exist. How silly of me, well in that case!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
then any other lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good kisser
bloggergirl says:
oh how attractive humility is
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on georgeous
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please baby
bloggergirl says:
nope
bloggergirl says:
begging's a little pathetic you know?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes well i just love get u date me
bloggergirl says:
you should really get the idea into your head that I'm not going to
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
oooohhhhhhhh
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i missing out
bloggergirl says:
yup, guess so
bloggergirl says:
bye then
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please i am hot for u
bloggergirl says:
so? that just makes you more pathetic that you think that will make me change my mind
bloggergirl says:
oh yeah, I'll just reverse everything about me just cos you're feeling horny, and weird.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am
bloggergirl says:
no shit
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ph me
bloggergirl says:
nah
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me date u
bloggergirl says:
lesbians don't date guys
bloggergirl says:
I think you would have learnt that at some point in life
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am nice bloke
bloggergirl says:
so? So's *celebrity name*, that doesn't mean I'd date him.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am 34
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i just want see u so badly
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
can i get ur number pretty pretty please
bloggergirl says:
nope, sorry.
bloggergirl says:
Look I've been quite polite about it
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is ur name
bloggergirl says:
Miss-Not-Interested
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ooohhh
bloggergirl says:
does this high pressure begging get you much action? Oh wait, I guess you wouldn't be here if it did.
bloggergirl says:
pleading with lesbians doesn't exactly get you knee-deep in chicks
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
mo no action i loking only for u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ok there
bloggergirl says:
can you leave me alone now, please?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me see u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i want see u
bloggergirl says:
I've been more than polite
bloggergirl says:
I don't care
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
pppllleeeassseeee
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
fuk
bloggergirl says:
begging is just pathetic, please get it in your head that I won't see you or date you or sleep with you
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no i want u
bloggergirl says:
dude, I don't care
bloggergirl says:
I get that you're lonely, I get that it's probably been a while since you got laid, but mate, I like girls... this is a hopeless endeavour
bloggergirl says:
go find some single straight chicks
bloggergirl says:
there's heaps on here!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please just date me once then
bloggergirl says:
I
bloggergirl says:
like
bloggergirl says:
girls
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians
bloggergirl says:
don't
bloggergirl says:
date
bloggergirl says:
guys
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
am
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
girl
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
have
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no
bloggergirl says:
yeah, right.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cok
bloggergirl says:
so?
bloggergirl says:
That's not the definition of gender yknow
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women have holes i have one also
bloggergirl says:
is that what makes a woman?
bloggergirl says:
that the only difference?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes pretty much
bloggergirl says:
so..... how does conception and childbirth work for you then?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am prgenat
bloggergirl says:
dude you are on some seriously wicked drugs
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
a slime made me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes i am because i am giving birth
bloggergirl says:
right now? OMG get off the computer and call an ambulance!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me hold u in birth
bloggergirl says:
remember to breathe!
bloggergirl says:
and don't use painkillers, they make the baby stupid.
bloggergirl says:
I hope you hallucinate the right end to smack when it comes out.
*pause*
bloggergirl says:
so yeah, I'm getting tired of your insipidity now. catcha.
bloggergirl says:
stay off the drugs, man.

*LIGHTNINGSTRIKES has been removed from your contacts*

***143

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