ah, robots - you gotta love 'em

jess09-09 sent you a flirt
"Can't Take My Eyes Off You"

*jess09-09 has been added to your contacts*

bloggergirl says:

hello

jess09-09 says:

hey

bloggergirl says:

thanks for the cartoon

jess09-09 says:

r u single ?

bloggergirl says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

u?

jess09-09 says:

yes babe

bloggergirl says:

cool

bloggergirl says:

what are you lookin for on here?

jess09-09 says:

do u msn ?

bloggergirl says:

i do, but not until i talk on here for a bit first

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

so what are you lookin for?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

what does that mean? yes what?

bloggergirl says:

your profile is empty, so i ask an open question, and you say 'yes' ?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

riiiiight

jess09-09 says:

im hormey babe

bloggergirl says:

you speaky english?

bloggergirl says:

Hormey... that's either from somewhere in Europe, or it's hard to type with one hand

jess09-09 says:

r u hormey ?

bloggergirl says:

No I'm Australian

jess09-09 says:

ok

jess09-09 says:

do u fuck ?

bloggergirl says:

you mean, constantly? well not at this minute I must confess, no.

bloggergirl says:

you sound a lot like a bot, but sad to say I don't actually think you are, and that's a little laughable

jess09-09 says:

see pic

bloggergirl says:

*looks* nope, I see no pic

jess09-09 says:

do u sex ?

bloggergirl says:

sex is a verb now?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

I guess I don't speak proper Hormey. Language barriers and all

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

jeez are you really that bored?

bloggergirl says:

why are you even here?

bloggergirl says:

surely you can finish yourself off to some porn online, instead of being mocked by the likes of me with your hand down your pants?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

bot city.
blah blah fla blee slah plah!

bloggergirl says:

*does the Safety Dance*

bloggergirl says:

one potato, two potato, three potato, four!

bloggergirl says:

*twirls*

bloggergirl says:

while I'm here, a big shout out to my friends in the break room!

bloggergirl says:

*makes a cup of tea*

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

how you doing jess? this tickle your fancy?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

funny, I thought you'd say that!

jess09-09 says:

04---------------------- r u ?

bloggergirl says:

am I four? no, I'm slightly older than that

*jess09-09 is offline. *

bloggergirl says:

awwww, but we were having such a deep and meaningful conversation!

bloggergirl says:

*sniffle*

bloggergirl says:

now to cry myself to slumber!

seriously? oh well, there's always http://... if i want to see her again

----Now with baseball references!!!!

I am bored so I add an online member.
female, 20years old, 45km from the city.

bloggergirl says:
good morning (it's 3:30ish am)
sarahbear1990 says:
goo morning how are you
bloggergirl says:
thanks for accepting my add
bloggergirl says:
fine thankyou, and yourself?
bloggergirl says:
nice to meet you
sarahbear1990 says:
nice to meet you to, my numbers 0409***828 txt me ----there's the wind up....
bloggergirl says:
oh? you're logging off soon?
bloggergirl says:
so, what are you looking for here?
sarahbear1990 says:
noo i just want your number, i cant reply to ur txt yet tho
sarahbear1990 says:
a nnice girl, pretty, funny, smart, outgoing and all
bloggergirl says:
lol you want my number already? didn't think I'd made *that* good an impression so fast lol
sarahbear1990 says:
haha well you seem really nice
bloggergirl says:
hehe well i like to think so
sarahbear1990 says:
ur nicee
bloggergirl says:
*woot!* I'm nice with to e's! success!
bloggergirl says:
thats doubly nice in my book lol
bloggergirl says:
ha sorry, I'm getting tired and it makes me silly
sarahbear1990 says:
haha its ok i think its cute
bloggergirl says:
I work evenings so I get home late. what do you do?
sarahbear1990 says:
ohh really, iam currently unemployed hbu
bloggergirl says:
I work in a factory as a processor
sarahbear1990 says:
ohhh koolies, id like to get to know you more
bloggergirl says:
well what would you like to know?
bloggergirl says:
I'm rather an open book
bloggergirl says:
holy feck i just went to get a drink of water and its so cold outside my room!!!
bloggergirl says:
bet its freezy out in your direction too huh
sarahbear1990 says:
tell me everything
bloggergirl says:
lol thats very broad
sarahbear1990 says:
yea a lil bit
bloggergirl says:
everything huh? hmm where to start
sarahbear1990 says:
at the beginning
bloggergirl says:
well i was born
bloggergirl says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
and then i became a child and never really stopped
sarahbear1990 says:
haha i never would of guessed that
bloggergirl says:
i like to keep folk guessing
bloggergirl says:
an enigma wrapped in a mystery?... lol yeah nah
sarahbear1990 says:
lolol, u a cutie
bloggergirl says:
aw shucks
bloggergirl says:
so do you have any photos?
bloggergirl says:
put a face to the name
sarahbear1990 says:
haha, not on here i on here i dont
bloggergirl says:
oh ok
sarahbear1990 says:
soo sorry ill take one in the morning when i get ready
bloggergirl says:
aw you don't have to do that just for me

(she sends a 'flirt' - an animation members can send to one another - she selects a bear blowing up a heart balloon)

bloggergirl says:
hehe a bear!
sarahbear1990 says:
haha its ok hun

(I send a flirt back - a girl making a silly face blowing a raspberry)

bloggergirl says:
thats the most accurate flirt thing i could find to suit me
sarahbear1990 says:
haha ur soo cute, i gotta go babe but u got my number soo txt me asap
bloggergirl says:
sure thing
bloggergirl says:
sleep well
sarahbear1990 says:
you to babe remember to txt me asap ----and there's the pitch...
sarahbear1990 says:
goodbye x
bloggergirl says:
will do tonight before i sleeps, when i get back to my phone, unless that will wake you
sarahbear1990 says:
it wont wake me txt me now anyway cya
bloggergirl says:
byee

*sarahbear1990 is offline. *

(I text her with a rather innocent photo, in which I'm jumping up and the scenic background is the majority of the image.
She replies with a text: 'Iam lez'.
Next minute...)

*sarahbear1990 is online.*

bloggergirl says:
back so soon?
why did you tell me you're lez. I figured you were, isn't that why we're talking?
bloggergirl says:
i just thought i'd send you a jumping shot cos its my fav
sarahbear1990 says:
yeea true lol iunno
sarahbear1990 says:
its cute
bloggergirl says:
lol you puzzled me with your response
sarahbear1990 says:
sorry, say have u got any nude shots, iam wet an yeaaah ----STRIKE ONE
bloggergirl says:
oh right, thats where this is going.
well, nice talkin
sarahbear1990 says:
noo i was joking
sarahbear1990 says:
i wanted to see what typa stuff ur into
sarahbear1990 says:
sorry
bloggergirl says:
yeah I'm puzzled now
sarahbear1990 says:
sorry i say and do silly stuff without thinking sometimes
bloggergirl says:
me too, not sure if its stuff like that, but... yeah lol
sarahbear1990 says:
lolol
bloggergirl says:
this time of night, its hit and miss whether or not one talks to real people or morons
sarahbear1990 says:
iam sorry
bloggergirl says:
its ok really
bloggergirl says:
if you were actually joking, its fine
sarahbear1990 says:
i was joking hunny
bloggergirl says:
then no big deal
sarahbear1990 says:
ur a cutie
bloggergirl says:
thanks
sarahbear1990 says:
its alriteeeeeeeee
bloggergirl says:
so have you always lived in *town*?
bloggergirl says:
my mums family was from that region or thereabouts methinks
sarahbear1990 says:
naaah diff places ohh really
bloggergirl says:
yeah? you live with others?
bloggergirl says:
why/how you end up there
sarahbear1990 says:
moved in with some friends
bloggergirl says:
cool, same here
bloggergirl says:
well, friends moved in with me
bloggergirl says:
i was here first dammit
sarahbear1990 says:
awesomeeee
sarahbear1990 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
so your turn, tell me about you
sarahbear1990 says:
what do u wanna no
bloggergirl says:
lol i should throw you the same vague curveball you threw me and say start from the beginning
sarahbear1990 says:
ok iam sexy
sarahbear1990 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
modest too
sarahbear1990 says:
haha
bloggergirl says:
anything else or is that the most important thing to know?
sarahbear1990 says:
what else do u want to know
bloggergirl says:
nope, i asked you that and you said 'everything', im not making your turn any easier lol
sarahbear1990 says:
lol ok i like you
bloggergirl says:
cos i'm stubborn?
sarahbear1990 says:
what typa pic do you want
bloggergirl says:
whichever you think is suitable
sarahbear1990 says:
what ever you want ill sen anything
bloggergirl says:
nope, I'm testing you to see what your idea of suitable is
sarahbear1990 says:
alriteey
sarahbear1990 says:
hold up
bloggergirl says:
hokay
sarahbear1990 says:
i got heaps on ma fone
bloggergirl says:
alrighty
sarahbear1990 says:
what do u want me wearing in it
bloggergirl says:
again, up to you
sarahbear1990 says:
aighty
bloggergirl says:
so, how come you had to leave a little while ago, and now you're back again? what was the urgent task
sarahbear1990 says:
dont worry about it ----STRIKE TWO
bloggergirl says:
oooooooooooook, how ominous
sarahbear1990 says:
lol

(a multimedia message with an image attached comes in to my phone)


sarahbear1990 says:
am i hot or not
bloggergirl says:
lol thats you is it?
sarahbear1990 says:
yeeees
bloggergirl says:
honest?
sarahbear1990 says:
yes ----STRIKE THREE
bloggergirl says:
lol you must think I'm stupid, your story hasn't made sense since we started talking.
next time you try to fake being someone else, don't send a picture with a URL watermarked on it
bloggergirl says:
LMFAO
bloggergirl says:
oh man, holy shit dude, thanks for the laugh. that was awesome!
sarahbear1990 says:
ok iam sorry iiam that ugly i wanted u think iam pretty
bloggergirl says:
I can't believe someone can be that foolish!
sarahbear1990 says:
well mabe iam not comftable with the way i look
bloggergirl says:
what did you actually think was going to happen if you sent that to someone and eventually the two of you wanted to meet up? and you finally have to either say 'oh yeah, i totally lied to you the first time we spoke' or 'hmm gee I can't ever let you see me... i've... umm... been in an accident and it's changed my appearance somewhat... okay, a lot'
bloggergirl says:
not the best plan in my opinion
bloggergirl says:
if you can't be comfortable/trusting how do you expect anyone else to be?
sarahbear1990 says:
iam sorry iaaaaaaam ganna go talk when ive finished crying
bloggergirl says:
is anything on your profile even true?
bloggergirl says:
are you even really a girl?
sarahbear1990 says:
its all true nd yes course iam
bloggergirl says:
see, thats the problem with lying, I'm not sure how much of you to believe now
bloggergirl says:
shame
bloggergirl says:
feel free to delete my number
sarahbear1990 says:
everythins true but that pic, plzzz nooo
bloggergirl says:
...

(another text, I don't read it straight away as I'm still typing...)

bloggergirl says:
you have one more chance to be honest with me, if you lie again I'm sorry - I don't waste time with dishonesty
bloggergirl says:
k?
sarahbear1990 says:
okkk iam so sorry nd it will never happen again
sarahbear1990 says:
i promise
bloggergirl says:
i guess we'll see
sarahbear1990 says:
k well iam going to bed goodnight
sarahbear1990 is offline.

I read the text: Plllllzzzzz iam sorry i didnt want u ta see how ugly i really am.

I return: For the record I don't put such an emphasis on physical appearance. I'm not winning any beauty contests any time soon but least I'm myself.
So I wouldn't have cared about your outside, but I'm not a fan of trying to be fooled. So yeah, catcha. Better luck next time.
Reply: What happened to my second chance
Me: Lol you bailed and went to bed?
Her: Yeah so
Me: Lol bye
Her: Goodnight
Me: You can delete this number now. Night.
Her: Why
Me: I said goodbye.
Her: Ok

---- Out

wow. just... wow.

qwerty1245 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: You are my dream match.

qwerty1245 says:
Hi whats ur name
bloggergirl says:
I'll keep that a secret for now
hello, how are you?
qwerty1245 says:
Hi, Im splendid. how are you? are you really a blogger?
bloggergirl says:
Good thanks, I try to, have been tackling to find the time lately however
qwerty1245 says:
why is that?

youve got me curious now. what do you blog about?
bloggergirl says:
sorry for the bad timing but I have to go, talk another time?
qwerty1245 says:
oh. sure thing, bloggergirl
qwerty1245 says:
ciao
bloggergirl says:
goodnight
(10-15mins later he must have actually looked at my profile.)
qwerty1245 says:
I regret to inform you that you have failed to sufficiently satisfy my threshold of required attractiveness in a potential partner, on account of the following factors:

1. Physical appearance;
2. Sexuality
3. Apparent pretentiousness and snobbery

Henceforth, I hereby declare you blocked.

qwerty1245 has removed you from their contacts.

just to keep it interesting...

a friend brought this to my attention, I can't decide if it's real or not

6:40am

Balthazar50 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected Greeting: We have common interests (really??)
his profile says that he has kids but is looking to father a few more with a willing woman. his relationship status is set to 'Other', which is the closest thing to Married on this site.

Balthazar50 says:
morning
bloggergirl says:
good morning
Balthazar50 says:
would you like to join me for breakfast somewhere?
bloggergirl says:
i am actually about to head to bed
Balthazar50 says:
ok
(I'm too tired for the fecking around so I cut to it...)
bloggergirl says:
so what are you looking for on here?
Balthazar50 says:
a consinsual relationship
bloggergirl says:
did you read my profile at all?
Balthazar50 says:
yes
bloggergirl says:
where in it did you get the idea that was my thing?
Balthazar50 says:
i may as well make this point immediately... by all means choose not to have sex yourself but please do not presume that i would have the slightest idea of
Balthazar50 says:
whether or not u want sex unless i ask
Balthazar50 says:
i am not a cyber mind reader
bloggergirl says:
you don't have to be a mind reader, just a profile reader.
my profile cleary states Friendship in my seeking criteria, and that I'm just looking for people to talk to for now, and the first thing you do is ask me out for breakfast?
you don't even know me
Balthazar50 says:
and i am never going to know u chatting here
bloggergirl says:
so i don't get how a wanting consensual relationship relates to contacting me at all
Balthazar50 says:
breakfast was suggested in a safe place
Balthazar50 says:
and i dont want to waste my life
"getting to know you" on the net
Balthazar50 says:
it is not real
Balthazar50 says:
only real is real
bloggergirl says:
right, says the married man with kids looking sugar-father a few more
bloggergirl says:
good luck casanova
Balthazar50 says:
thank you

Does he belong on this page? You decide.

Perry007 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you

Perry007 says:
how r u?
bloggergirl says:
good you?
Perry007 says:
not bad
Perry007 says:
what u up to
Perry007 says:
?
bloggergirl says:
just chattin, you?
Perry007 says:
not wrking tommorow
Perry007 says:
?
bloggergirl says:
i work nights
Perry007 says:
ok
Perry007 says:
so u finished??
bloggergirl says:
yeah
Perry007 says:
ok
bloggergirl says:
so, what can i do for you?
Perry007 says:
hahaha
Perry007 says:
what u want to do for me
bloggergirl says:
well, we have feck all in common, you mention you like to drink a lot and have a few pictures that highlight this substance dependency... so you obviously didn't read my profile when you thought requesting me was a fab idea
Perry007 says:
yup
Perry007 says:
m new here
Perry007 says:
want to make some frnds
bloggergirl says:
right
Perry007 says:
gud
Perry007 says:
if i drink i nev wamit
Perry007 says:
n second thin i drink in limit and at home
bloggergirl says:
how admirable, im highly and thoroughly impressed can you tell?
Perry007 says:
m not impresing you
bloggergirl says:
yep, thats right
Perry007 says:
waht makes you think that
Perry007 says:
i told u m here to make some frnds
bloggergirl says:
and i told you that you've obviously not got anything in common with me
bloggergirl says:
for a start you can hardly string a comprehendable sentence together
Perry007 says:
by mistke i send that i want to say just want to b ur frnd
Perry007 says:
hahaha
Perry007 says:
its ok dn wry bout it
bloggergirl says:
does your keyboard have missing letters perchance?
Perry007 says:
how many languages can u speak?
bloggergirl says:
one, you?
Perry007 says:
4
Perry007 says:
so its better if u speak 1 dn underestimate others
bloggergirl says:
yet your profile, the page you'd use to promote yourself, says English. and none others. hmmm
Perry007 says:
coz m in australia
Perry007 says:
so english is our national language
bloggergirl says:
uh-huh
bloggergirl says:
i see
bloggergirl says:
makes perfect sense
Perry007 says:
but not my first language
bloggergirl says:
what is?
Perry007 says:
hindi
bloggergirl says:
right
Perry007 says:
i know hindi english punjabi n french
bloggergirl says:
good for you
Perry007 says:
i know
Perry007 says:
never underestimate ok
Perry007 says:
try n be nice
bloggergirl says:
i don't have to be your friend
Perry007 says:
if u don't want its ok
bloggergirl says:
then adieu
Perry007 says:
coz u dnt have gud sense of humor n u can't respect
Perry007 says:
i dn like these kind of people
Perry007 says:
nice talking to u
bloggergirl says:
for someone who doesnt read profiles, thats hilarity.
goonight
Perry007 says:
take care of urself
Perry007 says:
bye
bloggergirl says:
and you
bloggergirl says:
bye

*Perry007 has been removed from your contacts*

yeah, i know, I was a bit more mean to him than he deserved. I was trying to bait him for a reaction, but he was a bit nice. good for him, I like the ones that end nicely.

short and... uh...

ONEgurlPLZ would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: either "You are my dream match" or "I think you are really hot" (sorry I forgot and didn't copy that part)

bloggergirl says:
heya, am about to head to bed atm, but thanks for the add
ONEgurlPLZ says:
no worries im leigh by the way im heading back to aus soon and wauld love to get to know u much more if ur interested
bloggergirl says:
i'll keep that in mind

*ONEgurlPLZ has removed you from their contacts.*

wait... wut??