About This Site: Social experimentation meets ever-so-slight masochism... or perhaps it's sadism?

These are the results of a few online dating website memberships. Some of what you are about to read are Guest posts, added kindly from others whom I've invited to contribute. The rest are mine.

All of them are real.

In these posts I simply want to point out the basis of my evident misanthropy.

This website is not about me or my search (however much in jest it may be these days :P ), it is about the people I encounter along the process involved. And sharing a few laughs with you, the public.

Males are highlighted in blue, females in pink - I know its a stereotype, but here it's just a visual aid (and if we don't get around to coloring them by the time you read them, well... 'meh').
I don't censor much as far as usernames or the like, but if it is requested I am more than happy to do so, anyone can just comment on the post.

Let's say you stumble across here and find a conversation we've had online posted below, and you don't have a humour of your own, if you want it removed or the username changed then all you need to do is comment and say so. All too easy, yeah?

The joy of the online world is we can enjoy a level of anonymity - that includes the people featured below - and no one needs know of your little indiscretions... unless you're one of those odd folk who use their full names as usernames.

Which serves as a fitting segue into the following pieces of info:

I am never false in these interactions: my pictures on the dating website are real, as are all of my profile details (ie height, weight, interests, location etc), and I do not pretend to be anything I'm not. If you see me answering what I do for a living and my answers differ: it's because I have several j0bs and it's just easier to only mention one.

I am a 20something Australian female interested predominantly in other females... or perhaps males though my profile does state that you have to be a pretty special male to have a chance.
I do state in my profile that I'm looking for Friendship and people to talk to. (Some other posts: I have selected Casual Dating also, and these both change between 'with a male/female/either' - depending on when the conversation takes place on my personal timeline). I don't lead anyone one to believe we'll get together if we won't.
I do share my phone number and IM contact details on the site very, very occasionally if I wish to communicate further.
I do point out that I am not interested in threesomes or the like; that if I want to meet a guy, I'd add a guy; that chicks are not to contact me and ask if their boyfriend can join in/watch.

Enjoy the chuckles that ensue. I do.

My rough guidelines:
1) almost any contact request I accept, and 2) if possible, they must start the conversation first - I like to see with which foot they lead... and subsequently stick in their mouth.
Sometimes I get bored waiting for the fish to bite... so you'll see me break these rules a few times...

And finally, to anyone out there who is also a member on a dating site and actually genuinely looking for love, I have only this to say:
Do not be discouraged by all the conversations you've had with weirdos similar to what you read here. Real people are out there. Sadly, it just takes a lot of sifting through the sand to find them.
Have faith, patience, but most of all, humour.

Peace.
- the blogger girl

Sunday, April 17, 2011

time for a change?

So i broke a rule here and added a contact for a change.

selected greeting: I think you are really hot.

I censor the name cos it may have been his actual one. I'm nice like that.


p****epping is online.

p****epping says: ya after a fuck or what? lol
bloggergirl says: wow, that borders on pure charm lol
p****epping says: lol straight to the point ay
bloggergirl says: would it have killed you to at least fake a couple sentences of smalltalk? ha
p****epping says: haha, might have

p****epping says: show me ya other pics
bloggergirl says: ah, then i'd hate to put your personal saftey at risk lol
bloggergirl says: please?
bloggergirl says: rude fucker arent you?
p****epping says: hehehe
p****epping says: no just know what i want n not gonna lie about it
p****epping says: taa
bloggergirl says: can i see yours? please?
p****epping says: just my kids
bloggergirl says: ah k
bloggergirl says: cute
p****epping says: i know lol, n thank you, i only breed good looking ones lol
bloggergirl says: haha and drown the ones that dont turn out right?
p****epping says: haha nah, all turn out awsome lol
bloggergirl says: ah thats good then
bloggergirl says: good to have a good success rate
p****epping says: haha, so when can you come to albury n visit me
p****epping says: hoping ya good in bed lol
bloggergirl says: keep bein a smartass and you may never know!

p****epping has removed you from their contacts.

see what happens when you mess with the formula?
oh wait... nothing I can't live with.
*sniff* no drive interstate for an arrogant shag. /tears

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

good try, sonny

an excerpt
after a long lull in conversation, he tried to just cut to the chase -

jamie says:
i really wonna fuck you
bloggergirl says:
does that line ever work?
jamie says:
i dunno i never tryed it
bloggergirl says:
i dont fancy its success rate

Word, yo!

LukasForeals would like to be added to your contacts
selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you

LukasForeals says:
sup
bloggergirl says:
sup? did you really just say sup?
bloggergirl says:
you're awfully pale for a cool black man
LukasForeals says:
lol
LukasForeals says:
im black at heart ok
bloggergirl says:
ha fair enough
LukasForeals says:
LukasForeals says:
how're you?
LukasForeals says:
(better?)

from taiwan with love

tallaussie1234 would like to be added to your contacts
selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you

tallaussie1234 says:

heyhow are you
bloggergirl says:
good thanks you?
tallaussie1234 says:
not bad thanks
tallaussie1234 says:
why are you up so late
bloggergirl says:
i work nights, why are you?
tallaussie1234 says:
well i am in taiwan just got here for work
tallaussie1234 says:
about an hour ago
bloggergirl says:
big time difference?
tallaussie1234 says:
2 hour
tallaussie1234 says:
what work do you do
bloggergirl says:
i see
tallaussie1234 says:
so what are you working as
bloggergirl says:
production line
bloggergirl says:
what takes you to taiwan?
tallaussie1234 says:
right cool
tallaussie1234 says:
work
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
tallaussie1234 says:
sales and marketing for a big company
tallaussie1234 says:
work in asia a bit
bloggergirl says:
good perks
tallaussie1234 says:
its ok
tallaussie1234 says:
lots of long flights
tallaussie1234 says:
and boring hotel rooms
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
yeah i can imagine
tallaussie1234 says:
would be more fun with someone in the hotel room hehehe
tallaussie1234 says:
sorry lol
bloggergirl says:
ha
bloggergirl says:
well yeah i bet it would
tallaussie1234 says:
yep thats the truth
tallaussie1234 says:
tried to call in a massage but they were shut at the hotel
tallaussie1234 says:
damn late flights lol
bloggergirl says:
a massage or a "massage"?
tallaussie1234 says:
well a massage to start off
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
ha
tallaussie1234 says:
if she wanted to massage all over i guess i would not have said no
tallaussie1234 says:
lol i am being very honest sorry
tallaussie1234 says:
hope i dont offend
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
shrug, i guess not many would object
bloggergirl says:
nah, you can be honest
tallaussie1234 says:
true
tallaussie1234 says:
i like honesty to
tallaussie1234 says:
so you wouldnt object either then?
bloggergirl says:
if anyone called a "massage" service to their hotel room, they wouldnt be inclined to object
tallaussie1234 says:
weell they can be just a normal massage in fact they usually are
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
tallaussie1234 says:
but if she wanted to tease my ballas and ass i dont mind lol
bloggergirl says:
are many taiwanese hotel masseurs the normal-type tho?
bloggergirl says:
i may be stereotyping
tallaussie1234 says:
they all are
tallaussie1234 says:
thats the problem
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
ha
tallaussie1234 says:
id love one right now that did more
tallaussie1234 says:
heehehehe
tallaussie1234 says:
mmm a warm oil massage playing with my balls and ass would be amazing lol
bloggergirl says:
guess you'll have to take care of it all by yourself then if they're shut
tallaussie1234 says:
sorry to truthful
tallaussie1234 says:
lol probably will
bloggergirl says:
you say what you want, im not a censor
bloggergirl says:
yeah, somehow i knew you would
tallaussie1234 says:
haha
tallaussie1234 says:
you ever had a good massage?
bloggergirl says:
a normal one? yeah, i go to one place regularly
tallaussie1234 says:
a feemale massuess?
bloggergirl says:
i probably wouldnt see a male one
tallaussie1234 says:
do you go naked?
bloggergirl says:
no, i said a normal one
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
tallaussie1234 says:
can benormal and naked
bloggergirl says:
yeah nah
tallaussie1234 says:
bugger
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
tallaussie1234 says:
so let me ask
tallaussie1234 says:
if you did go naekd ould you take athe extra service?
bloggergirl says:
im guessing from your decline in spelling that your other hand is busy?
tallaussie1234 says:
a little
tallaussie1234 says:
sorry
tallaussie1234 says:
...
bloggergirl says:
nah, its okay, it just makes you like every other dude I talk to at this hour
bloggergirl says:
congratulations!
tallaussie1234 says:
yay
tallaussie1234 says:
i feel bad sorry
bloggergirl says:
*shrug* meh
tallaussie1234 says:
shamure you could help if you were here lol
bloggergirl says:
wow, that shame lasted a long time huh?
tallaussie1234 says:
lolyep
bloggergirl says:
ha, i might just let you finish off
tallaussie1234 says:
help me
tallaussie1234 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
nah, you don't need it

with friends like these

parry2 would like to be added to your contacts
selected greeting: I just want to be friends with you

parry2 says:

hi
bloggergirl says:
hi
parry2 says:
how are you
bloggergirl says:
good and you?
parry2 says:
very good thanx
parry2 says:
what are you doing now?
bloggergirl says:
nothing you?
parry2 says:
just chat with u
bloggergirl says:
fair enough
parry2 says:
did you enjoyed your weekened
bloggergirl says:
the grammar in that made my head implode a little, but yes, i did thanks
parry2 says:
where did you went
bloggergirl says:
...what?
parry2 says:
means did you went any pubs
bloggergirl says:
oh i know what you mean, but frankly the way you speak is hurting me
bloggergirl says:
is english your second language?
parry2 says:
yup
parry2 says:
why you ask me?
bloggergirl says:
where are you from?
bloggergirl says:
oh, it was just a lucky guess...
parry2 says:
i live in adelaide
parry2 says:
but i m inidan
bloggergirl says:
what do you do for work?
parry2 says:
i m doing study
parry2 says:
here
bloggergirl says:
only study, you don't work?
parry2 says:
i work in hungry jacks
bloggergirl says:
i see
parry2 says:
and you
bloggergirl says:
im a photographer
parry2 says:
very good
parry2 says:
r u doing study or not
bloggergirl says:
no
bloggergirl says:
should i?
parry2 says:
tell me u r racist or no
bloggergirl says:
hahahahahahahaha because I can tell english isn't your second language? yeah I don't think that makes me racist, only mildly observant
parry2 says:
before girls talk me then remove me
parry2 says:
thats y i have no good friend
bloggergirl says:
yeah, probably no surprises there, when your conversation is hindered by language issues, and one of your first questions to a girl is is she a racist

*parry2 is offline.*
*parry2 has been removed from your contacts*

speed-dating?

aronlee would like to be added to your contacts
selected greeting: I think you are really hot

aronlee says:
hello
bloggergirl says:
hi
aronlee says:
do u have skype
bloggergirl says:
thats how you start a conversation? fine, thanks how are you? photographer, purple and orange. size 7 shoes,
bloggergirl says:
lets just shortcut the whole thing huh?
aronlee says:
ok
bloggergirl says:
cool. great talking! bye!

*aronlee has been removed from your contacts*

welcome to sarcasm, class 101

badboy1988 would like to be added to your contacts
selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you

badboy1988 says:
hey how are you
bloggergirl says:
good thanks, you?
badboy1988 says:
good thnx
badboy1988 says:
what's doing
bloggergirl says:
pardon?
badboy1988 says:
what's are you up to
bloggergirl says:
wow, your grammar is... unusual.
badboy1988 says:
sorry
bloggergirl says:
that's ok, just not something you hear a lot.
bloggergirl says:
well, you would i assume
badboy1988 says:
ok then
badboy1988 says:
I am in bed
bloggergirl says:
um, that's nice... i was just wondering 'gee I wonder where he is typing to me from on his phone?'
badboy1988 says:
I am on my iPhone
bloggergirl says:
...yes I worked that out all by myself
badboy1988 says:
kool
bloggergirl says:
I'll suppress my uncontainable impressed-reaction
badboy1988 says:
what you
badboy1988 says:
mean
bloggergirl says:
you have an iPhone = awesome
badboy1988 says:
yep I love it
bloggergirl says:
your conversational grammar is questionable, but you correctly spell your phone's brand with correct upper and lower case
badboy1988 says:
:P
bloggergirl says:
which means I've already worked out that you and your status-symbol phone are already in a relationship lol
badboy1988 says:
can I see you private pictures
badboy1988 says:
nope I am single
bloggergirl says:
"please"?
badboy1988 says:
please
bloggergirl says:
they're nothing special
badboy1988 says:
you look cute
bloggergirl says:
thanks
badboy1988 says:
anytime
badboy1988 says:
what you doing
bloggergirl says:
why?
badboy1988 says:
I just want to know
bloggergirl says:
i was thinking of writing the world changing novel and asking you to join me as co-author, but I'm too busy rolling naked in bed in pure ecstasy over the sheer stimulation of this conversation
badboy1988 says:
ok then so you have drugs
bloggergirl says:
.... yeah, cos the word ecstasy was created to name a drug
bloggergirl says:
it has no other definition
bloggergirl says:
oh, and apparently i was completely serious also
badboy1988 says:
ok then
badboy1988 says:
I am naked to
bloggergirl says:
you're not good with sarcasm huh?
badboy1988 says:
no I am not
bloggergirl says:
evidently
badboy1988 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
question, what do you want from this chat?
badboy1988 says:
anything and you
bloggergirl says:
surely, there's something in mind.
be focussed, have a goal.
what do you want?
badboy1988 says:
I am looking for a bit a fun
bloggergirl says:
explain
badboy1988 says:
I am to talk dirty to ppl
bloggergirl says:
well, good luck wth that. hopefully you can find someone who converses at the same level of eloquence - or lack thereof
bloggergirl says:
I, however, am growing bored of this oh too easy mockery and shall bid you adieu.

*badboy1988 has been removed from your contacts*

So boring... I'll forgive you if you don't bother reading it all.

guy4u116 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.

guy4u116 says:
hi hw r u
bloggergirl says:
good thanks you?
guy4u116 says:
yeah great
guy4u116 says:
nice pics
guy4u116 says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
thanks
guy4u116 says:
wat r u up2
bloggergirl says:
nothin much, you?
guy4u116 says:
nothing just chilling
guy4u116 says:
can i c ur prvt pics plzz
bloggergirl says:
sure, theyre nothing special
guy4u116 says:
thnks u look cute
bloggergirl says:
thanks
guy4u116 says:
so hw long r u single nw
bloggergirl says:
little while, you?
guy4u116 says:
4 months nw
guy4u116 says:
do u use msn
bloggergirl says:
yes
guy4u116 says:
can i add u plzz
bloggergirl says:
why?
guy4u116 says:
so we can chat there
bloggergirl says:
what would we chat about there?
guy4u116 says:
mmmm i dunno u can c me
bloggergirl says:
see you?
bloggergirl says:
what would i see?
guy4u116 says:
yeahh u can see me fully lol
guy4u116 says:
r u getting upset over me
bloggergirl says:
no
bloggergirl says:
just asking
guy4u116 says:
wat do u wanna c
guy4u116 says:
r u there
bloggergirl says:
what would you want to show?
guy4u116 says:
lol
guy4u116 says:
my face
guy4u116 says:
my body lol'
bloggergirl says:
oh
bloggergirl says:
ok
guy4u116 says:
so can i add u nw
bloggergirl says:
nah
guy4u116 says:
mmmm
guy4u116 says:
we can chat here then
bloggergirl says:
do you have anything interesting to talk about?
guy4u116 says:
yeahh
guy4u116 says:
wat type of mood ur in
bloggergirl says:
what?
guy4u116 says:
r u happy or lonely u knw wat i mean
bloggergirl says:
no i dont know what you mean, otherwise i'd not ask
guy4u116 says:
am asking hw ur feeling'
bloggergirl says:
i find it n odd thing to ask
guy4u116 says:
ask me
guy4u116 says:
its just a frendly questin
bloggergirl says:
ask you what?
guy4u116 says:
srryy
guy4u116 says:
anyway i gt 2 sleep ill tlk 2 u 2mrw
bloggergirl says:
will you just?
guy4u116 says:
wat
bloggergirl says:
i dont reckon you will talk tomorrow, you're a bit average
guy4u116 says:
ohhh
guy4u116 says:
if am nt gud 4 u gudluck
bloggergirl says:
thanks, you too
guy4u116 says:
ok bye forever
bloggergirl says:
bye shakespeare
guy4u116 says:
thnks dat was interesting
bloggergirl says:
what was?
guy4u116 says:
shakespeare
guy4u116 says:
ok no fighting
guy4u116 says:
bye
bloggergirl says:
...yeah ok bye now

*guy4u116 has been removed from your contacts*