wow I keep beating my time-record

oldblacky79 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you

(N.B after I accept, it takes about 5mins before he talks)

oldblacky79 says:
hey. can i see your pic pls
bloggergirl says:
that's your lead?
bloggergirl says:
not even a 'how you doing?' or anything?

*oldblacky79 has removed you from their contacts.*

Tits or GTFO

LesAdel19 would like to be added to your contacts

LesAdel19 says:
Heyy
bloggergirl says:
hey there
LesAdel19 says:
Can i see ur priv pic
bloggergirl says:
please?
bloggergirl says:
fine thanks, how are you?
bloggergirl says:
...
LesAdel19 says:
PLEASE lol
bloggergirl says:
why? I'm not showing my cleavage in any
LesAdel19 says:
Devo haha
*LesAdel19 has removed you from their contacts.*

I...umm... what?

I get bored so I add someone online:

bloggergirl says:
good morning
JessicaK***** says:
good morning
bloggergirl says:
how are you?
*JessicaK**** has removed you from their contacts.*

censored name as I suspect it may not be a psuedonym.

...twice in the same place?

bodyofronaldo... I mean, LIGHTNINGSTRIKES would like to be added to your contacts.
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.

N.B practically the same profile pic on this account. But a few more drugs I think.
see earlier interaction here

bloggergirl says:
Hi
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
hi hru?
bloggergirl says:
how's ronaldo going?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
good how u know
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
u clever
bloggergirl says:
......umm cos unlike you I take notice to details... like for example your picture is exactly the same?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is your name
bloggergirl says:
why should I tell you anything? You were trying to trick me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may i see ur priv pic?
bloggergirl says:
nope
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am female
bloggergirl says:
HAHAHA righto
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i have had my cok cut off
bloggergirl says:
um I hate to break it to you, but an absence of a penis does not a woman make
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
there is a virgin hole there now
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety it is made a lady
bloggergirl says:
that sounds... disgusting
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am femineas they are
bloggergirl says:
Ronaldo has a woman's body now?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
sweety may i please see ur priv pic my pussy is wet
bloggergirl says:
you're a really bad actor
bloggergirl says:
and you'd make a really ugly woman
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
it is no act i am real lady
bloggergirl says:
lol sure
bloggergirl says:
that's why you're talking like every other guy on here
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we talk on ph to prove it
bloggergirl says:
hahaha ok then, give me your number, I dare you.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
0434082***
bloggergirl says:
I'm going to call and I want you to say 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ring me
bloggergirl says:
will you say that?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
*thumbs up icon*
(blocking my number, I call. An audibly smiling male replies 'Hi I am a little duck, quack quack'. I laugh and hang up)
bloggergirl says:
rofl
bloggergirl says:
your penis may have been cut off, but your testicles must still be attached, deep voice you got there lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
see i am wet
bloggergirl says:
man, what are you smokin?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on can i please take u out for drink?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
we go to mars bar
bloggergirl says:
I don't drink and if I did it wouldn't be with you, esp not a nutter sayin the weird as shtick you're saying lol
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
may u show me ur priv now that i gave u my number
?
bloggergirl says:
nope, I don't remember agreeing to that
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
well can i meet u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cutie?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i so wish u iand i can date
bloggergirl says:
lol nah, meet a guy who talks about cutting dicks off? I think that's how serial killers start out isn't it?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no sweety or am a rapist
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
dare u give me your number
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
just one date
bloggergirl says:
nah, I'm not as foolish to give my number out to anyone who asks. You're lucky I'm not the crazy one.
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians don't date old male nutters.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
will u for baby i am nice person
bloggergirl says:
nah, sorry not interested.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good licker
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
best u get
bloggergirl says:
Oh right, cos thats the only reasons lesbians exist. How silly of me, well in that case!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
then any other lady
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am good kisser
bloggergirl says:
oh how attractive humility is
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
come on georgeous
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please baby
bloggergirl says:
nope
bloggergirl says:
begging's a little pathetic you know?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes well i just love get u date me
bloggergirl says:
you should really get the idea into your head that I'm not going to
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
oooohhhhhhhh
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i missing out
bloggergirl says:
yup, guess so
bloggergirl says:
bye then
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please i am hot for u
bloggergirl says:
so? that just makes you more pathetic that you think that will make me change my mind
bloggergirl says:
oh yeah, I'll just reverse everything about me just cos you're feeling horny, and weird.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am
bloggergirl says:
no shit
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ph me
bloggergirl says:
nah
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me date u
bloggergirl says:
lesbians don't date guys
bloggergirl says:
I think you would have learnt that at some point in life
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am nice bloke
bloggergirl says:
so? So's *celebrity name*, that doesn't mean I'd date him.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am 34
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i just want see u so badly
bloggergirl says:
so?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
can i get ur number pretty pretty please
bloggergirl says:
nope, sorry.
bloggergirl says:
Look I've been quite polite about it
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
wat is ur name
bloggergirl says:
Miss-Not-Interested
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ooohhh
bloggergirl says:
does this high pressure begging get you much action? Oh wait, I guess you wouldn't be here if it did.
bloggergirl says:
pleading with lesbians doesn't exactly get you knee-deep in chicks
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
mo no action i loking only for u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
ok there
bloggergirl says:
can you leave me alone now, please?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me see u
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i want see u
bloggergirl says:
I've been more than polite
bloggergirl says:
I don't care
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
pppllleeeassseeee
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
fuk
bloggergirl says:
begging is just pathetic, please get it in your head that I won't see you or date you or sleep with you
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no i want u
bloggergirl says:
dude, I don't care
bloggergirl says:
I get that you're lonely, I get that it's probably been a while since you got laid, but mate, I like girls... this is a hopeless endeavour
bloggergirl says:
go find some single straight chicks
bloggergirl says:
there's heaps on here!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
please just date me once then
bloggergirl says:
I
bloggergirl says:
like
bloggergirl says:
girls
bloggergirl says:
Lesbians
bloggergirl says:
don't
bloggergirl says:
date
bloggergirl says:
guys
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
am
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
girl
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
have
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
no
bloggergirl says:
yeah, right.
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
cok
bloggergirl says:
so?
bloggergirl says:
That's not the definition of gender yknow
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
women have holes i have one also
bloggergirl says:
is that what makes a woman?
bloggergirl says:
that the only difference?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes pretty much
bloggergirl says:
so..... how does conception and childbirth work for you then?
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
i am prgenat
bloggergirl says:
dude you are on some seriously wicked drugs
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
a slime made me
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
yes i am because i am giving birth
bloggergirl says:
right now? OMG get off the computer and call an ambulance!
LIGHTNINGSTRIKES says:
let me hold u in birth
bloggergirl says:
remember to breathe!
bloggergirl says:
and don't use painkillers, they make the baby stupid.
bloggergirl says:
I hope you hallucinate the right end to smack when it comes out.
*pause*
bloggergirl says:
so yeah, I'm getting tired of your insipidity now. catcha.
bloggergirl says:
stay off the drugs, man.

*LIGHTNINGSTRIKES has been removed from your contacts*

***143

A new record??

New Guest post from Betty


betty says:
hey cheers for the add
jess70-70 says:
hey
... jess70-70 says:
r u single ?
betty says:
yes, have you read my profile?
jess70-70 says:
im horney babe
betty says:
that was quick
jess70-70 says:
r u horney ?
betty says:
last time I checked I didnt have any horns growing
jess70-70 says:
yes / no
betty says:
no
jess70-70 says:
ok
betty says:
sorry to dissapoint
jess70-70 says:
ok

*jess70-70 has removed you from their contacts.*

Dear Santa, put away the Nice list this year...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

house wins!

cos finding love is a gamble...
want to see him again? read our next adventure here.


bodyofronaldo would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: We have common interests.

bodyofronaldo says:
hi hru?
bloggergirl says:
who's ronaldo?
bodyofronaldo says:
the superstar
bodyofronaldo says:
like me
bloggergirl says:
oh
bloggergirl says:
what common interests do we have?
bodyofronaldo says:
u know now?
bloggergirl says:
I see none the same.
bloggergirl says:
From that vague description? No, not really.
bodyofronaldo says:
thearetre
bodyofronaldo says:
gaming i love poker
bloggergirl says:
I don't recall liking 'thearetre' or poker
bodyofronaldo says:
the machines i love them
bodyofronaldo says:
painting then i love sparying out of a can
bloggergirl says:
let me guess, you love going to the casino?
bodyofronaldo says:
yes i do i admit
bloggergirl says:
do you like *card game*?
bodyofronaldo says:
love it
bloggergirl says:
thought you would
bodyofronaldo says:
i am guenius at guessing naext card
bodyofronaldo says:
what is your name i amBill
bloggergirl says:
I like it too, but I hate the dealers
bloggergirl says:
how about you?
bodyofronaldo says:
well u know what baby they go a mchine now
bloggergirl says:
yeah but they're rigged
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah i hate them also u have to completely bloke them out of your game
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah they are
bodyofronaldo says:
i like u
bloggergirl says:
you never win in that place, dealers are so stupid
bodyofronaldo says:
what is your name
bodyofronaldo says:
i so wish i meet u
bloggergirl says:
I don't even think dealers are real people, what do you reckon?
bodyofronaldo says:
it not that u have to be cautious
bodyofronaldo says:
yeah it is badly rigged the whole place



*bodyofronaldo has been removed from your contacts*

Yeah... so turns out I'm an ex card-dealer at the casino. I hope he was just being agreeable, but deep down I'm sure he's probably had a tantrum at my table some time during my employment there.
Oh and for the record, I know who Ronaldo is- but from this 40 year old guy's pictures, the body may have been all he had of his. Ronaldo is a lot more beautiful, and I don't even follow the sport!

The Might Adventures Of...!

gruffnut would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I like your profile and hope to learn more about you.


N.B I accept, but his icon shows him as offline. Immediately however, a conversation box opens, though he's still 'Invisible'.

gruffnut says:
hello
bloggergirl says:
hi invisible man
gruffnut says:
hi
bloggergirl says:
hi
bloggergirl says:
....
gruffnut says:
how are u
bloggergirl says:
sitting on the couch eating chocolate and patting my hundred cats crying about how nobody loves me. you?
gruffnut says:
sitting on couch wanking watching porn
bloggergirl says:
ah, then we both meet the stereotypes then. lovely!
gruffnut says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
*awaits for the moment to come when you ask if me and a couple of my girl friends want to come over for a pillow fight*
gruffnut says:
nar im happy wankn at momnet
bloggergirl says:
wait... so if a group of girls offered right this second to come over and pillow fight in front of you in their PJs, you'd say 'No thanks, I'm good' ?
gruffnut says:
yer cos i know what u askd wouldnt happpen
bloggergirl says:
not with that attitude!
bloggergirl says:
either that or that's some good porn you're watching
gruffnut says:
good porn
gruffnut says:
what ulooking for?
bloggergirl says:
I think the phrase 'good porn' is an oxymoron
gruffnut says:
my house mates here tho shes asleep
bloggergirl says:
and about here, dear readers is when the last 1% of my hope that he's joking in a sick witty way, similiar to my own mockery, slips into the abyss. (yeah, I did actually say that.)
gruffnut says:
lol
gruffnut says:
love to stop n talk shit but i better get bak to it
bloggergirl says:
yeah true, those big busty girls on the screen are busy, they won't wait for you.
gruffnut says:
thats correct
bloggergirl says:
farewell, captain invisible!
bloggergirl says:
the world is in peril!

*gruffnut has removed you from their contacts.*

Absence makes the mind grow forgetful

This person added me and we spoke briefly once a fortnight or so ago... then she started talking to me again tonight.


First convo:

adelecd says:
hi how are you?
bloggergirl says:
good thanks
adelecd says:
slow,
bloggergirl says:
slow?
adelecd says:
how is your night
bloggergirl says:
good enough
adelecd says:
ok, cool. what you been up tp tonight?
bloggergirl says:
I worked, have only been home an hour or so
bloggergirl says:
you?
adelecd says:
benn home an hour and a half. not working though
bloggergirl says:
partying?
adelecd says:
not really, just a mates place
bloggergirl says:
cool
adelecd says:
you just windingdown?
bloggergirl says:
yup
bloggergirl says:
watching some shows and chattin
adelecd says:
brb
bloggergirl says:
k
adelecd says:
im back
bloggergirl says:
same
adelecd says:
so where did you work tonight?
bloggergirl says:
I work in a factory
adelecd says:
doing what?
bloggergirl says:
packing boxes
bloggergirl says:
what do you do?
adelecd says:
im out of work atm. hoping to be working next week
bloggergirl says:
anything in particular?
adelecd says:
horticulture
bloggergirl says:
oh cool
adelecd says:
so where is the factory?
bloggergirl says:
in the hills
adelecd says:
ok
bloggergirl says:
but I live about an hour away
adelecd says:
and where are you based?
bloggergirl says:
do you often ask so many personal questions within the first half hour?
adelecd says:
just trying to get to know you
bloggergirl says:
fair enough
adelecd says:
dont mind if you have questions for me


Tonight:

adelecd says:
hi there
bloggergirl says:
hi
adelecd says:
how are you?
bloggergirl says:
good thanks you?
adelecd says:
good
adelecd says:
what you up tp?
adelecd says:
to*
bloggergirl says:
just got home from work
adelecd says:
where do you work?
bloggergirl says:
...seriously?
adelecd says:
yep
bloggergirl says:
don't pay attention or make notes between conversations then huh?
adelecd says:
my sorry, should of read through previous cinvo
bloggergirl says:
mayhaps
adelecd says:
convo*
bloggergirl says:
yeah, that'd probably have made you look better
adelecd says:
im sorry

A Quickie... no really.

TheCircleOfFriends says:

hi

bloggergirl says:

hi there

TheCircleOfFriends says:

so u r only into girl only

TheCircleOfFriends says:

or bi

bloggergirl says:

fine thanks, how are you?

bloggergirl says:

....

TheCircleOfFriends says:

i m good u

bloggergirl says:

what does that matter if I'm bi or just into girls?

TheCircleOfFriends says:

just curious

TheCircleOfFriends says:

that is all

TheCircleOfFriends says:

u dont have to answer

TheCircleOfFriends says:

TheCircleOfFriends says:

so what is ur name by the way

bloggergirl says:

I just figure that my profile answers that question is all

bloggergirl says:

why?

TheCircleOfFriends says:

ok i m looking at it right now

bloggergirl says:

I don't know you, we've been speaking for 2minutes.

TheCircleOfFriends says:

yep it does

TheCircleOfFriends says:

into female only

bloggergirl says:

so you didn't even read my profile before?

TheCircleOfFriends says:

dont get offended now dear

TheCircleOfFriends says:

i just try to make conversation

bloggergirl says:

hmmm that doesn't sound patronising at all lol

bloggergirl says:

you're weird

*TheCircleOfFriends has removed you from their contacts.*

total time approx 6mins - new record? But okay yeah I admit, I may have been a little harsh. I don't deal with boring conversation well at 4am.

If you're going to chat me up, at least use proper grammar!

Llamalland again. Something a bit more recent:


rock1112 says:
hi

Llamalland says:
hiya

Llamalland says:
how're you?

rock1112 says:
good

rock1112 says:
wanna fun

rock1112 says:
hi

Llamalland says:
fun is a verb, now?

rock1112 says:
now

rock1112 says:
in car

rock1112 says:
sex

Llamalland says:
sex isn't a verb, either

rock1112 says:
wanna sex

rock1112 says:
now

Llamalland says:
no, see, that runs into the same syntax problem as "wanna fun" did...

Llamalland says:
and adding "now" does nothing to resolve it

rock1112 says:
love to suck your dick

Llamalland says:
see, that's better, at least you have a verb in that one!

Llamalland says:
And you have a noun too

Llamalland says:
but you've got the object of the sentence, with no subject of the sentence.... problematic

Llamalland says:
oh, excuse my misused comma

Llamalland says:
Aw man, I was really hoping I'd find out who/what the subject of the sentence is....

Llamalland says:
a toaster, perhaps? An ourangutan? My grand-aunt Bessie?

And another guy for a somewhat shorter exchange:

cheekyboy35 says:
hi there

Llamalland says:
hi, how're you?

cheekyboy35 says:
im good

cheekyboy35 says:
welcome to come over, sukk r cock

Llamalland says:
where is sukk r cock? I'm not sure I know where to find it.

cheekyboy35 says:
ok cya

cheekyboy35 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member.

An Oldie

Hello - I'm Llamalland on oasis, and bloggergirl has been kind enough to let me post here.

Some background stuff: I'm a 20something bi guy, and while I get some nauseating women on oasis too, it's mostly the men who make anything appropriate for here, especially the ones who list as straight. I list on my profile that *seriously* propositioning me before meeting me in person is kinda pathetic and really, sorta weird. And why would someone want to agree to sex with a stranger before sussing them out in person, anyway.

Here's an oldie, it's from early last year, and I saved it to my livejournal because it was just too damn entertaining! I was contacted by two guys soon after one another, both listing as straight, and I talked to them both concurrently. It didn't take long to work out that something other than their choice of sexuality-identity was fishy:

fraggle87 says:
hello hello

fraggle87 says:
how are you

fraggle87 says:
u there sexy

Llamalland says:
internet went funny for a sec

fraggle87 says:
lol what u up too>>

Llamalland says:
just playing internet chess

fraggle87 says:
nice u winning

Llamalland says:
so are you actually interested in men? and if so, why not say so on your profile?

fraggle87 says:
just want to try some new things

fraggle87 says:
its true that over 80% of men are bi u know

fraggle87 says:
what u looking for

fraggle87 says:
i want to be fucked in the ass

Llamalland says:
you should probably find a strapon for that. Plenty of straight guys want to be fucked in the ass.

fraggle87 says:
no i want a man to do it

fraggle87 says:
and i like the look of you

fraggle87 says:
if i wanted a strapon or a dildo i would still be wit my ex

fraggle87 says:
so u up for it

Llamalland says:
no

Llamalland says:
I don't sleep with internet randoms

fraggle87 says:
well i wont be just a random nighter

fraggle87 says:
i will be random nights

Llamalland says:
no, I didn't say "I don't have random one nighters"

Llamalland says:
I have them all the time, with people I actually know in person

Llamalland says:
I just said I don't sleep with internet randoms

fraggle87 says:
well well i guess we will hav to meet

Llamalland says:
no, we won't. But maybe you should talk with rukusbrendan, you'll get along with him like a house on fire

fraggle87 says:
he is cute

fraggle87 says:
is he gay??

Llamalland says:
he's at least as gay as you are

fraggle87 says:
??

fraggle87 says:
just wants to try

fraggle87 says:
so u dont want to meet me

fraggle87 says:
if u dont want internet guys why u online

fraggle87 says:
u are such a tease

Llamalland says:
yes, I am a tease because I dare to be on the internet but have the gall to reject an internet random that propositions me

Llamalland says:
I am on this site to meet people and become friends with them, and if it leads to more, ok. Not to have random guys proposition me.

Llamalland says:
But you are right, I am a tease, clearly, because I haven't put on my profile "don't message me asking for random sex"

fraggle87 says:
all i want is some of ur cock ur hotstuff and u turn me on i didnt even read ur profile i just like ur pic

Llamalland says:
and all I want it to mock you and be sarcastic. Unfortunately, only one of us will get what we want

fraggle87 says:
well u miss out pretty boy

Llamalland says:
not really, I'm enjoying the mocking a lot, and I almost certainly get laid more than you

fraggle87 says:
ahahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
ur being sarcastic again as if u get laid more than me

Llamalland says:
I do. Because I'm intelligent, witty and attractive, and know how to flirt without being
nauseating.

fraggle87 says:
hahahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
u are nauseating go play ur chess

Llamalland says:
aaah, now that you're certain you're rejected, you feel like being agressive

fraggle87 says:
no no

fraggle87 says:
ur not witty ur just a prik no need to be an ass

Llamalland says:
sore loser

fraggle87 says:
no ur the one that is going to be the loser in the long run bet ur shit in the sack anyway

fraggle87 says:
ur not even hot

fraggle87 says:
u look like a nerd

fraggle87 says:
with a weird shaped head

fraggle87 says:
big nose and shit hair

Llamalland says:
oh nooooo, the random internet person doesn't like the way I look. I guess I'll just have to fuck away the pain.

fraggle87 says:
hhahahahaha

fraggle87 says:
got ur pump out for ur blow up doll???

fraggle87 has removed you from their contacts. You can no longer send any messages to this member. (and now for the other one)

rukusbrendan says:
hey chief

Llamalland says:
evenin'

Llamalland says:
how's it going?

rukusbrendan says:
mornin haha

rukusbrendan says:
good and u

Llamalland says:
it's not morning until the sun rises again, in my world

Llamalland says:
pretty good

rukusbrendan says:
true, its not mornin til me and johnson rise either i say@

rukusbrendan says:
what u doin 2day sexy man

rukusbrendan says:
i see u like women and u like men

rukusbrendan says:
have u had a boyfriend b4

Llamalland says:
wondering why someone that is listed as straight would call me sexy, that's what I'm doing right now

rukusbrendan says:
hey just cos it aint on here doesnt mean i dnt like the forbidden fruits... or frank n beans.. i love my share

Llamalland says:
no, no serious relationship with a guy yet

rukusbrendan says:
any sexy fun with a dude?

Llamalland says:
I find it's better to be open and frank about such things. And I don't know why homosexuality should be a forbidden fruit.

rukusbrendan says:
i agree dude

rukusbrendan says:
im gona be open and honest with u... atm im single and my big black dildo gets such a pounding numerous times a day. i wish i had some real meat

rukusbrendan says:
just a man to sink my teeth into like a wild animal rahhhh!!

Llamalland says:
no, that's not open or honest, that's just you stroking your *ahem* ego. Also, dildos don't get poundings, that makes no sense

rukusbrendan says:
what do u mean they dont get poundings... when i shove the knob end up my tight arse i pound the fuck outa it dude.. u should know this if ur really bi

rukusbrendan says:
i dnt think u r.... ur just bi curious

Llamalland says:
no. A dildo does not get a pounding, a dildo *gives* a pounding

Llamalland says:
get it right

rukusbrendan says:
oh well sorry man i didnt know u were so technically correct.. that is a sexy attribute to a mans personality mmm so hot

Llamalland says:
and being randomly fawned over and propositioned by a guy that doesn't really seem to know whether he's straight or bi or gay, isn't honest about it, and thinks homosexuality is forbidden fruit - damn that just makes me so hot

Llamalland says:
hope sarcasm turns you on too, and being mocked

rukusbrendan says:
mate, im just a squirrel tryin to get a nut.. i use this site to meet sexy, smart girls AND guys... i havent come out the closet yet its kinda embarrasing ur mocking me

Llamalland says:
poor kiddo. You'll survive, and someone has to say these things to you, or you'll never learn

rukusbrendan says:
true, and im glad such a sexy man said it to me.. ur pic is making me so hard

rukusbrendan says:
keen to catch up some time?

rukusbrendan says:
u can teach me the ins and outs of butt secks... ive always wanted an older man to teach me

Llamalland says:
you know what? You should talk to fraggle87. I don't want to meet you though, no. But you too will get along great, in fact you guys are so similar I suspect you're the same person using different profiles and pictures

Llamalland says:
but if you aren't, you guys will get along like a house on fire!

rukusbrendan says:
i did a search for him.. he looks cute!!

rukusbrendan says:
have u guys fucked???

rukusbrendan says:
is that why wed get along

Llamalland says:
no, he and you just started talking to me tonight

rukusbrendan says:
i have a great idea...we could all meet up for a 3 sum!!!! ill add him n get to kno him a bit b4 asking

Llamalland says:
no, I think if I went to anything like that, I would meet with either one or two guys, none of which I'd want to sleep with. But you guys go right ahead without me!

rukusbrendan says:
why not at least sleep with me?? i have a good size package

rukusbrendan says:
and i wana taste ur meat dude

Llamalland says:
well we all want some things we can't have

rukusbrendan says:
why are u on this website for ??

Llamalland says:
I am on this site to meet people and become friends with them, and if it leads to more, ok. Not to have random guys proposition me.

rukusbrendan says:
i just want u to fuck my tight brown virgin ring dude.. if ur truely bi youd accept my offer for a few beers.. ill get u drunk then u can bang me

Llamalland says:
Yeah, of course, all bi guys just can't resist any other guys that show an interest.

Llamalland says:
I am bi, I just have taste

rukusbrendan says:
are u saying im ugly..

Llamalland says:
no, you're just a wanker

rukusbrendan says:
ur right.. i could give u a good hand job too if ur keen

rukusbrendan says:
beat u off in 4 mins flat baby ohhh

rukusbrendan says:
ull be blowin everywhere all over me

Llamalland says:
you know what you could do? Give fraggle87 a handjob.

Llamalland says:
bet he'd love it

rukusbrendan says:
hes prob got a bigger cock then u honey

Llamalland says:
I mean, doing it all alone isn't as fun, but it's better than being mocked all the time, isn't it?

Llamalland says:
also, you're bragging about 4 minutes? You have to be kidding.

rukusbrendan says:
the only person being mocked is you dickhead lol

rukusbrendan says:
this chat has been logged idiot lmao its being sent in to a magazine which i will not be telling u the name of haha

Llamalland says:
that's ok, I've already sent copies of both conversations I've had with you to everyone on my mailing list

rukusbrendan says:
lmao the jokes on you cock head hahahhahaha

Llamalland says:
sure it is. *I'm* the joke. You go on thinking that

rukusbrendan says:
lol ur a bi sexual faggot nerd

rukusbrendan says:
mate u should kill urself u look like tom green for fuck sakes

Llamalland says:
and you have tried to chat up this "bisexual faggot nerd" and been completely humiliated in rejection.

rukusbrendan says:
mate im straight as... you are the joke. nothing better than taking the piss out of pathetic losers on here hahahah

Llamalland says:
so you, a straight person, decided to chat up a guy and failed - on two seperate accounts. Yeah, I'm the pathetic one

rukusbrendan says:
on two seperate accounts? nahh me and my mate just find pathetic lookin gay cunts n fat ugly chicks to chat up for our own entertainment bhahahaha

Llamalland says:
oh. That's even more pathetic! I thought you were both one person, but you aren't! And that probably means you're using your own pictures!

rukusbrendan says:
wow u are so fucking smart!!!!

Llamalland says:
and you're calling me ugly!

rukusbrendan says:
im calling u hideous dude.. you look like tom green HAHAHAHAH

Llamalland says:
there aren't even words to describe how pathetic this is. How do you survive looking in the mirror?

rukusbrendan says:
quite easy.. i just buy a new one every time it breaks

rukusbrendan is offline. You can still send this person messages and and they will receive them the next time they are online.

I just love how he seemed to think that the conversation reflected badly on me, and that I'd be mortified to learn that others might read it! And the line about buying a new mirror... he so put me in my place!

so... I think his name is Pete... but that's the info I could comprende, Ese!

MRGENUINE1111 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: We have common interests.

(N.B cbf colouring his, so you can just deal with it until I do it :P)

bloggergirl says:
what common interests would they be?
bloggergirl says:
other than we both like boobs?
bloggergirl says:
evidently the ability to read profiles isn't one thing we have in common
bloggergirl says:
....so come on, wow me,,,
bloggergirl says:
*waits*
MRGENUINE1111 says:
hi hows things babe
bloggergirl says:
ooh reading just isn't your strong point huh?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sorry wish i could ring ya hey whats ya mobile !!!
bloggergirl says:
here's a tip - on a dating site, maybe uploading many photos in which you are wearing a Jason/Hannibal Lector mask... probably not the greatest brainwave to get chicks to talk to you... let alone give out their numbers within the first 30sec of conversation
bloggergirl says:
tho the USA flag in the background does certainly lend a sophisticated and classy touch to them
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah true my mask is one thing but its my hidden treasure most women want LOL LOL pete x
bloggergirl says:
why do you sign your name? Do you think I will have forgotten it so soon?
Or perhaps you think you're writing a letter?
Possibly I'm just a bot... may as well be, this seems to be a very one sided interaction...
I am yet to be wow'd
bloggergirl says:
not that the reference to women wanting your 'hidden treasure' wasn't highly original or suave
bloggergirl says:
your interests listed: cars fishing football cricket gardning
wow it's like we're twins
bloggergirl says:
...you've gone quiet Mr Radtastic
bloggergirl says:
well, quietER
MRGENUINE1111 says:
sorry to upset you, hey and your expectations on here most men on here are married or involved some way TRUE {iam not } GENUINE 100% SINGLE
MRGENUINE1111 says:
Hi you still there babe ?
bloggergirl says:
my computer failed, mayhaps from conversation atrophy
bloggergirl says:
but funny I don't recall mentioning anything about my expectations of men, let alone it relating to their involvement with others
MRGENUINE1111 says:
computers, really suck some times hey
bloggergirl says:
why 'hey?'
bloggergirl says:
is that a question?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
your quick at typing hey !!
bloggergirl says:
are you Canadian? or attracting attention *after* the sentence?
bloggergirl says:
hey hey hey hey hey hey
bloggergirl says:
let's do away with anything else, and just grunt and say hey
MRGENUINE1111 says:
mmm Just come back from the USA babe
bloggergirl says:
And yes, I'm a whole generation away from you - I can navigate a keyboard
bloggergirl says:
Why do you call me babe? Do you call any random chicks you just started talking to a term of endearment without knowing if she likes/approves or not?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yes you can !
MRGENUINE1111 says:
No i call women babe when i think i may like them thats all no offence
bloggergirl says:
lol what on earth have I given you as a reason to think you may like me?
you've not even answered my first question...
what are these common interests you claim we have?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
my common interests with you are iam single avaliable and iam attractive !!
bloggergirl says:
LMFAO
bloggergirl says:
you fucking serious?
bloggergirl says:
thats your secret recipe for compatibility?
bloggergirl says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MRGENUINE1111 says:
No friendship and see what happends !!!
bloggergirl says:
read my goddam profile, moron. I dig chicks and if a guy even wants a *chance* at chatting me up he has to be an impressive son of a bitch who can hold a conversation and so far the only thing you've made moist on me is my brain running out of my ears from this hell boring dribble you're giving out
bloggergirl says:
*waits for the essay of reply*
MRGENUINE1111 says:
Typing is good and your good at it but are you the same on the phone, anyway iam only interested in Bi girls for a relationship my mobile is ****245265 txt is good and i will ring ya now cheers pete
bloggergirl says:
lol oh jesus dude, you don't get it huh?
bloggergirl says:
why only bi girls? you want a threesome?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
had threesomes before done that want a sole mate
bloggergirl says:
is that something you buy for your shoes?
bloggergirl says:
so why can only a bi girl be a soulmate?
bloggergirl says:
dude why the fuck would I give you my number? honestly.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
hetro girls are great but iam attracted to bi girls dont know why
bloggergirl says:
lol
bloggergirl says:
so the two of you can perve on a hot chick that passes you?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
no thats not it trust me
bloggergirl says:
Go suck my plastic press-stud phallus, fella. I don't know why you're still trying with me.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
broadminded lady does it for me hey
bloggergirl says:
yeah, trust you. Uh-huh, I'll write that down:
"Note to self, trust the boring creepy horrorfilm masked man I just started talking to online. Even though he keeps wanting to talk on the phone and can't take the hint that I'd rather swallow a snail thickshake than pursue this via any further medium"
MRGENUINE1111 says:
you seem real angry at me i feel why babe
bloggergirl says:
hey hey hey we're back to speaking in hey
bloggergirl says:
nah, not angry. Just amused.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah hey i need a horse lol
bloggergirl says:
oh and now we've descended into random references in an attempt to stay involved with the mockery
bloggergirl says:
nice one
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam really a nice guy ring me
bloggergirl says:
HAHAAHAHA why?? You haven't answered that once!
bloggergirl says:
why would I a) waste my credit, b) give you my number in doing so, and c) want to converse verbally with someone who finishes each sentence with hey, hey hey hey hey hey
bloggergirl says:
?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam looking for a friend and see what happends thats all
bloggergirl says:
I'm not your friend.
bloggergirl says:
And what will happen is that I will continue to laugh at you.
bloggergirl says:
And you should be spending this time chatting to someon who actually *wants* your company - that said, thanks for the high level of entertainment.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
yeah true but iam only trying to be nice not have a go at anyone
bloggergirl says:
the first paragraph of my 'About Me' details that I am not similarly inclined.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
are you open minded then
bloggergirl says:
dude, wtf does that even mean? and are you even reading what I'm typing here?
you got your own lil script there, huh?
bloggergirl says:
you want a girl to do you with a strap on, hey?
thats the attraction to bi girls
MRGENUINE1111 says:
no strap on ive been in a relationship for 5 years with 2 women done all sorts of shit
bloggergirl says:
oooooh I am so unbelievably and all-consumingly impressed
bloggergirl says:
aren't you going away yet?
bloggergirl says:
guys like you make girls like me be less attracted to guys in general.
MRGENUINE1111 says:
why would i go away
bloggergirl says:
Cos I think you're a wanker that doesn't get the hint that I think as such?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
iam a genuine person who loves a relationship and sex
bloggergirl says:
so?
bloggergirl says:
that interests me how?
MRGENUINE1111 says:
well iam on here to find friends and see what happends thats all
bloggergirl says:
So you've said. REPEATEDLY.
And I've said, repeatedly, to piss off and that I've no interest in being friends with you.
bloggergirl says:
so how about you fuck off now?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

sorry we can talk about something different i will take the mask off lol pete x

bloggergirl says:

dude, I swear you're brain dead.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

yeah mum said that when i was born lol

bloggergirl says:

no shit, they slapped the wrong end or something?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

yes they did slap the wrong end

bloggergirl says:

yeah ok, I'm going now. You're quite obviously retarded.

bloggergirl says:

Well no, you're not, but you should try it sometime. I think you'd excel.

bloggergirl says:

bye, good luck with.... whatever it is you're vaguely after.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

hi its pete, hope you will ring me for a chat i can not type my mobile is ****245265 txt is good please get back love to hear from ya BABE

bloggergirl says:

omg, I hope you're just a very clever bot.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me now love to hear ya

bloggergirl says:

up yours

MRGENUINE1111 says:

why up mine your the women trying to be a guy on here lol

bloggergirl says:

funny motherfucker arent you?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmmm hey mate try gay match maker mmmm

bloggergirl says:

blah blah blah

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ya might get it up the ass on gay match maker HEY

bloggergirl says:

oh so it *can* get fired up! looky there!

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmmm just come out and say your a guy

bloggergirl says:

no honey I think thats more up your alley... pardon the pun... And I hope for your sake you're not stupid enough to put your actual number on here

MRGENUINE1111 says:

yeah thats my number remember it iam a cop

bloggergirl says:

hahahahaahaha nope, not a guy. just a chick who thinks you're very uninteresting and doesn't want to play in the sandpit with you

bloggergirl says:

oooh a cop - even if I believed you, wtf could you do it me? fuck all is what.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

sandpitt whats that sand castles

bloggergirl says:

hmmm actually, with intellect like that.. maybe you *are* a cop.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

yes i can smell my prey thats why i keep typing lol

bloggergirl says:

lol prey! uh-huh, for what?
come on, scare me!

MRGENUINE1111 says:

scare you i thought the mask was enough lol

bloggergirl says:

I think the sheer thought that you exist in the community somewhere and pass for a functioning human is frightening enough

MRGENUINE1111 says:

cheers why are you on here

bloggergirl says:

I told you, interactions like these amuse me.
I mean sure if I want to talk to someone, I add them. But you added me, remember?
Why are you on here? I think you've been just as amused

MRGENUINE1111 says:

looking for love or friendship

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me ****245265

bloggergirl says:

yeah... no thanks.

bloggergirl says:

persistent lil tyke huh?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

why you can type quick but ya cant talk or have a mans voice!! ???

bloggergirl says:

lol you're convinced of that huh? well if it gets you off my case trying to get me to call you then yeah, okay sure I'm a guy, why not?

bloggergirl says:

I'll say I'm a guy if it means you run along happy

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmmm your a women very lonely and horny mmm

bloggergirl says:

hahahaha

bloggergirl says:

changing tactics?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

no

bloggergirl says:

you calling me horny or are you stating that you are?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me you wont be disappointed ****245265

bloggergirl says:

I'm pretty sure I will

MRGENUINE1111 says:

RING NOW

bloggergirl says:

lol okay humour me, say I call you. what exactly will you say or do that will be soooo amazing? I'll hear you shoot your load?
well cock-a-doodle-doo

bloggergirl says:

see there, how rude you didn't even say please.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

i say please pete xxxxx

bloggergirl says:

nah, fuck you... oh wait, you probably already are.
Sorry man, I don't get paid to listen to guys wank like some of the women out there.

bloggergirl says:

I guess that accounts for the slow typing

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmmmm i wait for you ladys first RING

bloggergirl says:

lol you're a dickwad

bloggergirl says:

this is what I love about guys, once they're on the homestretch, it doesn't matter what we do or say

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmm talk to me on the phone

bloggergirl says:

nah

bloggergirl says:

and if I'm doing you any favours by still talking to you here then I now pronounce me silent and not helping you have your lonely internet wank

MRGENUINE1111 says:

come on ring me or txt me i hate typing lol

bloggergirl says:

I bet, it'd take up valuable jerking time. how inconvenient.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me now

bloggergirl says:

*zips mouth shut* nah, go choke your chicken all by yourself.

MRGENUINE1111 says:

mmm i wanna hear your voice

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me

bloggergirl says:

ooh look! emoticons!

bloggergirl says:

MRGENUINE1111 says:

cum on be brave

bloggergirl says:

awww can't you cum without me on the phone?

MRGENUINE1111 says:

i have a high sex drive i

bloggergirl says:

okay! goodnight!

*I click to Appear Offline*

MRGENUINE1111 says:

ring me babe !!!! pete enjoyed your spills hey !!


*MRGENUINE1111 has been removed from your contacts.*


MRGENUINE1111 sent you a flirt. "Hi There"
(Animation of a guy in a suit saying 'Hi There')

You have sent a flirt to MRGENUINE1111.
(Animation of a kitty that reads: "Sorry, you're not who I'm looking for. Good luck finding someone".)




Jeeez, what a oddity.
This job is so weird sometimes.
That whole interaction took about 2(ish) hours. Boy's got stamina, I'll give him that.

****oh for oh oh

To the seat of the issue

Another Guest post from Chestylerou

chrisg1982 says:
hey
Chestylerou says:
hey, how's it going?
chrisg1982 says:
good
chrisg1982 says:
how has you day been
Chestylerou says:
not too bad, just been organising stuff, nothing too interesting
Chestylerou says:
how bout yours?
chrisg1982 says:
you look sexy
Chestylerou says:
um, thanks
chrisg1982 says:
ANAL SEX ????
Chestylerou says:
no thank you

*chrisg1982 has removed you from their contacts.*

with fishing skills like that, he'll eat for a lifetime.

I welcome chestylerou to the site :)
Chesty shares her latest hilarity here.

Bennymelb83 would like to be added to your contacts
Selected greeting: I think you are really hot.


Bennymelb83 says:

Hey there hun how r ya?..I'm Benny

Bennymelb83 says:

Ur smile is hot...I mean,nice to meet u haha

chestylerou says:

lol thanks

chestylerou says:

I'm ******

Bennymelb83 says:

Nice name...what's up?

chestylerou says:

not a lot. just playing a game on my ipad

chestylerou says:

why'd you request me when you live in melbourne?

Bennymelb83 says:

Cos I think ur pretty cute.....

Bennymelb83 says:

N fun,not boring

Bennymelb83 says:

U?

chestylerou says:

me what?

Bennymelb83 says:

Why did ya accept me? Haha

chestylerou says:

because I didn't check where you were from

chestylerou says:

lol

Bennymelb83 says:

Uh huh...sure sure

Bennymelb83 says:

Ur cute as

Bennymelb83 says:

Check out my pics,tell me what ya think

chestylerou says:

you appear to have a face

Bennymelb83 says:

Haha cheeky

Bennymelb83 says:

Well if u like them that's good then

chestylerou says:

I didn't say I liked them, I said you had the required amount of faces

Bennymelb83 says:

Hmmm ok then...well besides that obvious statistic what ya think?

Bennymelb83 says:

Haha

chestylerou says:

does the quality of your day depend on my answer?

Bennymelb83 says:

Ok....it's too early in the day for me to keep up with a smartass

Bennymelb83 says:

Pretty simple question....should be straight down the line like me...I don't care

chestylerou says:

well its not really a black and white question, what do I think? It doesn't really matter, you're in Melbourne, I'm not, so what is it that you're looking for? an ego boost?

Bennymelb83 says:

No...just a chat,enjoy a laugh,whatever happens

Bennymelb83 says:

But too much to ask on that with u I reckon

Thoughts...

Anyone seen 'Catfish'?

ever caught someone flat-out lying?

If you haven't seen it, see it.
Don't look it up, just go hire it.

ah, robots - you gotta love 'em

jess09-09 sent you a flirt
"Can't Take My Eyes Off You"

*jess09-09 has been added to your contacts*

bloggergirl says:

hello

jess09-09 says:

hey

bloggergirl says:

thanks for the cartoon

jess09-09 says:

r u single ?

bloggergirl says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

u?

jess09-09 says:

yes babe

bloggergirl says:

cool

bloggergirl says:

what are you lookin for on here?

jess09-09 says:

do u msn ?

bloggergirl says:

i do, but not until i talk on here for a bit first

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

so what are you lookin for?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

what does that mean? yes what?

bloggergirl says:

your profile is empty, so i ask an open question, and you say 'yes' ?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

riiiiight

jess09-09 says:

im hormey babe

bloggergirl says:

you speaky english?

bloggergirl says:

Hormey... that's either from somewhere in Europe, or it's hard to type with one hand

jess09-09 says:

r u hormey ?

bloggergirl says:

No I'm Australian

jess09-09 says:

ok

jess09-09 says:

do u fuck ?

bloggergirl says:

you mean, constantly? well not at this minute I must confess, no.

bloggergirl says:

you sound a lot like a bot, but sad to say I don't actually think you are, and that's a little laughable

jess09-09 says:

see pic

bloggergirl says:

*looks* nope, I see no pic

jess09-09 says:

do u sex ?

bloggergirl says:

sex is a verb now?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

I guess I don't speak proper Hormey. Language barriers and all

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

jeez are you really that bored?

bloggergirl says:

why are you even here?

bloggergirl says:

surely you can finish yourself off to some porn online, instead of being mocked by the likes of me with your hand down your pants?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

bot city.
blah blah fla blee slah plah!

bloggergirl says:

*does the Safety Dance*

bloggergirl says:

one potato, two potato, three potato, four!

bloggergirl says:

*twirls*

bloggergirl says:

while I'm here, a big shout out to my friends in the break room!

bloggergirl says:

*makes a cup of tea*

jess09-09 says:

ok

bloggergirl says:

how you doing jess? this tickle your fancy?

jess09-09 says:

yes

bloggergirl says:

funny, I thought you'd say that!

jess09-09 says:

04---------------------- r u ?

bloggergirl says:

am I four? no, I'm slightly older than that

*jess09-09 is offline. *

bloggergirl says:

awwww, but we were having such a deep and meaningful conversation!

bloggergirl says:

*sniffle*

bloggergirl says:

now to cry myself to slumber!